What your primary alliances say about your sexuality?

When we go into relationships, people can have very different expectations from those relationships. To some it is clear that your friends are the most important relationship in your life, some consider it to be the family, and some take it for given that if you are in a romantic/sexual relationship with someone, that should be your primary focus. This should be one of your dating questions or points to bring up on your dating profile because it defines your priorities. If a man whose primary focus is his wife or girlfriend (like they most often are) gets together with a woman whose primary focus is her best friend, he will feel like an outsider in his own relationship and things are not going to be working out very well (although this is usually as much as men ever expect from a relationship). Then again, a man whose primary relationship is his friends and a woman whose primary relationship is her friends should get along quite nicely, provided she doesn’t take offense in the fact that he doesn’t focus fully on her, but does his own thing outside the relationship. It can also work well if the couple is in mutual agreement that the children will be the first focus, but again there is a likelihood that he feels that she is his primary relationship and she feels the children are. It is the most COMMON situation that the man feels his first focus is his wife, but women will feel creepy if he would admit it out loud – so do mind the manner you part with this information in that said dating profile. 😉

I am one of those women to whom my primary relationship is always with my man, my friends next and family the third – I won’t have my own children but should I, they would be the secondary relationship, making certain that once they leave home they are free to leave (they are not responsible for my happiness nor should they worry about their old mother) and that my relationship with my husband would still be as good as the day we married. Unfortunately, to a lot of women, this priority order is the most common one: My children, my mother, my best friend, the rest of my family, my other friends, my husband. To a man, the most common order is My wife or my friends (depending on the guy), but once the first child is born, the priority usually shifts: My wife, my child, my friends, my family.

The way it manifests is that whoever you prioritize is the person who you think about at the moment when you have good news to tell. They are your first call when something goes bad and you need help. They are the one person you trust your worries with and they are the one person you trust to be there to your grave. Your spouse may leave you, but your friend won’t, for instance.

Women prioritizing women: Polygynous

Men prioritizing men: Polyandrous

Men prioritizing women: Polygynous

Women prioritizing men: Polyandrous

Men and women prioritizing children: polygamousORpolygynandrous (group marriage)

Subscribe to get a Daily Message