When the Young Soul* and a Old Souls* are True Emotion Mirrors (to each other)
the Young Soul* and the Old Souls* are like oil and water. Chalk and cheese. Bonding them is nearly impossible… Nearly. Still, it happens… Often, even, that the Young Soul* and a Old Souls* make for a True Emotion Mirror pair. This is going to be the Young Soul*’s battle with himself or with herself, as they have to face their fear of walking into a love trap. This is nearly impossible fear for a Old Souls* to understand, and that’s why the Old Souls* are often completely useless in explaining to the Young Soul* what needs to be done. On the other hand, the Young Soul* don’t understand the Old Souls*’ fearlessness and interpret their lack of fight for complete cowardness.
the Young Soul* fear intimacy
the Young Soul* fear intimacy but blame the Old Souls* for it. The logic goes, that the Young Soul* attack what they fear; their lover, their True Emotion Mirror, whereas the Old Souls* fear only that they might interpret the Young Soul*’s interest for… Well, interest and they fear they’ll be pushing themselves somewhere where they are not welcome. A situation that is all too familiar for themselves to endure from the Young Soul* who don’t know how to take a no for an answer. As the Old Souls* are only ever aggressive when they are TRULY fed up with someone and rejecting them… Now… I have to stop myself. The Young Soul* don’t understand the word “rejection” the same way as the Old Souls* do.
To a Old Souls*, an aggressive rejection is permanent. It means there is 0 chance of reconciliation for them. They will always keep the door a little open for as long as they think there’s a chance of bonding, but the Young Soul* REJECT people who they fear will become irreplaceable for them.
the Young Soul* learn to fear abandonment due to the way they make friends and lovers (too eager, too pushy)
the Young Soul* fear of abandonment after full bonding is seated deep. The Old Souls*’ fear of being a nuisance to another person is seated nearly as deep. The Old Souls* feel they can survive anything alone, and they also believe that once you make a friend, you’ll never leave them. However, the Young Soul* don’t have the same experience. The Young Soul* kinda bulldoze their way into other people’s lives and subsequently get dumped a lot. They don’t ask for permission or hesitate in their expectation that they are wanted.
Rather, the Young Soul* let themselves in another person’s life, and frankly, if you push your way into a person’s life, you’ll risk being pushed back out of it, too. They may be flattered by the attention. You catch them on a weak moment and they TRY to bond with anyone who makes themselves that easily available. And thus, once the Old Souls* snaps to their senses, they dump the by now deeply and securely bonded the Young Soul*, who didn’t see it coming.
the Old Souls* don’t do that. They take things cautiously. They INSIST on getting permission to approach. Consent, consent, consent. They respect the people they interact with – sometimes a little too much to be honest. Where a Old Souls* wants to show respect and boundaries, the Young Soul* wants to close their eyes and jump without looking… Feeling either overconfident to bother looking or too terrified to actually look where they’re going.
the Old Souls*’s disinterest is reassuring to the Young Soul*
the Old Souls* don’t get burned. They’re too cautious in relationships, even from a young age, to get truly burned. They see it coming, and don’t allow themselves to trust something that won’t last. The Young Soul* trust their ability to “make it last”, as in, to FORCE things into lasting… But they can’t.
When a Old Souls* shows disinterest toward the Young Soul*, in normal situations, the Young Soul* feels reassured: “She/he is even MORE afraid of this than I am.” However, they are interpreting the Old Souls*’ aloofness for fear, when it’s truly just… disinterest or indifference. This is what gets the Young Soul* into trouble. They feel they are in the lead, they’re showing the Old Souls* the ropes, they’re a man or woman of the world… Mature, in the know.
In the meanwhile, the Old Souls* battles their own issues. They don’t know if it is childish to believe in love at first sight, or whether they should just go with that eager guy/girl. And more often than not, in their indecision and fear of being childishly romantic, they go along with the over-confident the Young Soul*’s advances. The Old Souls* figures they can always end this relationship if it doesn’t turn into something more exciting, and the Young Soul*, who is CERTAIN they have the upper hand in this relationship will get blind-sighted by being brutally dumped.
Brutally, because they didn’t see it coming… Brutally, because to the Old Souls*, this relationship was nothing special and they didn’t think the Young Soul* saw it any differently, either.
the Young Soul* need to learn to watch their steps, and the Old Souls* must learn to relax a little
When the Young Soul* and the Old Souls* are bonded in a True Emotion Mirror love, they both need to learn a few new tricks in love. The Old Souls* really need to lose up a little and remind themselves that relationships are fun. Love is FUN. It’s not always about watching one’s back and avoiding making mistakes. It’s OK to hurt a little. A small burn can be exciting.
the Young Soul* must learn to not get burned to the CORE when they play. They also need to learn to understand that FRANKLY, not everyone loves them!! the Young Soul*’s self-confidence is often based on nothing but foolish trust in some kind of a notion of love being a thing you give to a person, rather than a feeling another person creates in you. They feel a bit smug about the ability to love, when they should realize that the love YOU feel isn’t your own doing. It’s thanks to the person you feel it for. THEY made that feeling happen.
the Young Soul* need to learn that True Emotion Mirror love is THEIRS without playing, without games, push, without competition over it like it was a trophy. It is actually love at first sight, and USUALLY, the Young Soul* feel they have to fight for it, run for it, play for it. Make sure nobody else gets there first. To the Young Soul*, love is a game. To a Old Souls*, the most serious thing in the world. An the Old Souls* won’t play with another person’s feelings but ironically winds up burning the Young Soul* left, right, and center as if there were nobody as callous as the uber-romantic the Old Souls*. In contrast, tyrants try to play with other people’s feelings but usually simply wind up getting themselves scorched.
the Young Soul* fear nothing more than an open invitation
the Young Soul* feel somewhat terror over everything that looks too good to be true. The Old Souls* are apprehensive about those things but are far less cynical than the Young Soul* are… And again, they process this a little differently.
the Old Souls* look at their True Emotion Mirror and think: He/she is too good for you. They seem interested but you’re probably imagining it.
the Young Soul* look at their True Emotion Mirror and think: You seem too interested in me. You’re too hot to be that interested in me. I know you’re setting me a trap. You want something from me… Money? Status? You think I’m rich, don’t you? Somebody has lied about me and told you I sleep with everybody/my cock is huge. What’s your angle? What are you playing at you…
the Young Soul*, in order to try and find out what the Old Souls*’s game is, try and irritate them. They pick a fight. Try and what happens if they reject the Old Souls*. Push a few buttons. And the Old Souls*, in their caution will decide to back off. “I don’t know what YOUR fucking problem is but I’ll figure that out from a safe distance…”
And the Young Soul* figures out what their game was: “OOoooooo you thought I was EEEEASY! You thought you could play me for a fool! Nah! I’m NOT A FOOL!”
the Young Soul* are fools.
the Young Soul* “KNOW” nothing worth having has to be taken
Curiously, the Young Soul* are aware that nothing worth having is freely given, but they think of it as if they were thieves rather than hard workers. The Young Soul* also feel that love worth having is unconditional in terms of virtues required to receive it. They are wrong on both accounts, but it is good for a Old Souls* to know this is how they think. They believe they should be able to be a complete a-hole and still get love, you know… Children can have a full-blown tantrum, hit their mom in the face, and still be loved and coddled through it. That’s what they associate as love worth having.
So the more the Young Soul* loves you, the more they act like a big baby having a tantrum of the year so that they’ll get that unconditional love they’ve used to get from mom (and dad).
As far as love goes, they feel DISGUSTED at the idea they’d have to behave well to be loved. They fear that the love they receive is because of their good performance in other areas in life – the only love the Old Souls* feel is worth having, really. The Old Souls* feel DISGUSTED by the idea that love between adults would still be given no questions asked, nulling the need for any efforts of personal improvement.
the Old Souls* don’t use money to say “I love you”
The difference here is that the Old Souls* don’t connect gifts with the feeling of love. They DO give gifts, yes, but they don’t fall in love through gifts and physical safety like the Young Soul* do. Therefore, the Old Souls* don’t work so that they’d be wealthy enough to take care of someone, they work so that they wouldn’t be a burden to anyone.
the Young Soul* are good at nothing as much as making a Old Souls* feel like a burden. This is because they want their loved ones to know that they don’t HAVE TO perform in order to be loved, and they HATE IT when their loved ones are trying hard to be a good person (on all accounts). They want their loved ones to feel free to lay on their backs and spit on the roof for their entire lives if they want to. The Old Souls* figure that’s their effort and intelligence gone unappreciated. Pearls to a swine, in other words.
Unconditional love the Young Soul* style is poison to the Old Souls*’s pride
You must be careful not to insult the Old Souls*’ pride of who they are as a person if you’re the Young Soul* in love with them.
the Old Souls* tend to HATE unconditional love as much as the Young Soul* love it. The Young Soul* feel that effort is for other people so you (a male) can provide for your loved ones, but among True Emotion Mirrors, you get to be weak and broken. The Old Souls* feel that love like that from a True Emotion Mirror MUST BE earned. The Old Souls* feel loved only when their talent and intelligence and great personality is appreciated. The Young Soul* feel loved when they feel loved even when they’re being lazy, no-good assholes.
Curiously, the Old Souls* do feel the same way ONCE they trust their efforts with self-improvement haven’t gone unappreciated. Once they do trust they are loved for the right reasons, they do forgive their True Emotion Mirrors for anything. ANYTHING. The Old Souls* tend to start feeling like they are deteriorating as a result of being loved by a True Emotion Mirror – the Old Souls*+the Old Souls* connections, namely.
A Young Soul* usually makes them just try harder still, as the Young Soul* is ALWAYS ready to point out how much THEY are willing to do for their loved ones; and this requires making it obvious that “I suffer to do this for you”. Not to say the Young Soul* wouldn’t say “you’re useless” to their loved ones to point out that regardless of their uselessness, they’re loved, like a family pet. They don’t HAVE TO be afraid that they’ll be thrown out despite their failures, is the message conveyed.
the Old Souls* feel everybody deserves to NOT DIE out of neglect
the Old Souls* agree that their loved ones, NOBODY, in fact, need to be successful people in order to be taken care of. This is where the Young Soul* and the Old Souls* attitudes differ again. The Old Souls* believe EVERYONE deserves a comfortable, safe living, but the Young Soul* feel only their favorite people do. They also show love to people they are NOT IN LOVE WITH because they DO believe people deserve to be taken care of, even if they are not perfect people.
Therefore, they fall in love with those who have done a lot for others. They adore and admire those with POTENTIAL to do a lot for others. Everyone. The whole world. They hate selfishness and corruption. They are very generous people, but their generosity is not limited to their True Emotion Mirrors and Precious Soulmates. This is why they tend to make karmic bonds with the Young Soul* who they are not at all impressed by.
As the Old Souls* tend to feel the most giving and generous toward people who can do nothing for themselves, their charity is laced with contempt rather than true love. Therefore, to receive love in the form of “undeserved”, they feel that as an act of contempt rather than an act of love.
the Old Souls* should show their ugly side
the Young Soul* tend to lower their own stakes a bit by revealing their ugly side to a suitor that they think might be intimidated by their perfection. (Narcissistic pricks. 😉 ) the Old Souls*, on the other hand, try their hardest to be worthy of their True Emotion Mirror. They try to be GOOD ENOUGH for them. So we have this situation, where the Young Soul* half acts like a complete ass and the Old Souls* is trying to be diplomatic, trying to dig something beautiful out of their True Emotion Mirror: “Why in the heavens name do I even give you the time of my day?! You are a complete fucking ASS!” But if this is truly True Emotion Mirror, they will figure it out… Unless they find someone better before the Young Soul* stops being an ass, frankly.
And the Young Soul* gets burned again.
How to stop the Young Soul*’s ass-hat behavior
Sorry about my language, but you know…
An the Old Souls* can stop the Young Soul*’s silly behavior by simply losing their temper. “Stop being a fucking ass!” is a good step. “What the fuck is your fucking problem?!” “Stop acting like an idiot, you’re not hot enough to have that much room to move with me.”
But what must be noted, the Old Souls* MUST be very much on the nerve of the situation, they are usually very intuitive, so this shouldn’t be a problem. I am hoping to support people’s instincts with my texts, so your brain will get on board with your instinct. When that feeling arises, and it will, just say it out loud, no fear.
the Young Soul* must know that there’s only so much a Old Souls* takes
The reason why the Old Souls* are pretty cautious in their own behavior is that THEY have a limit to how much BS they will tolerate from another person. When it is a True Emotion Mirror, they’ll take a crap ton of BS from them, compared to lesser soulmates, some of whom walk in a very short and brittle leash. An the Old Souls* is to be treated as someone who has a relatively low tolerance for funny business, and is in NO WAY attracted to “difficult to handle”.
the Old Souls* are quite civilized people, by the way. They don’t have much of a stomach for constant bad behavior. They ABSOLUTELY HATE fighting. The Young Soul* tend to pick a fight a lot. They don’t even know someone is interested if they don’t pick a fight. The Old Souls* avoid fighting PARTICULARLY with people they love and care for. To the Young Soul*, this is dismissive and cold.
the Old Souls* must know that with the Young Soul*, they get to be annoying and abrasive without losing points
the Old Souls* must know that the Young Soul* appreciate unruly behavior. They like “hard to handle” and challenges in relationships. To them, games and little back-stabs are just fun and exciting. The Old Souls* must stop being so cautious in everything. They should know it’s safe to be a little… Unpredictable and weird. Emotional and inconsistent with the Young Soul*. A Young Soul* won’t be put off by illogical behavior, they kinda love it.
What the Young Soul* want to know is that you’ll stay there for the crap. So if a Old Souls* wants to impress the Young Soul*, they have to put up with a lot of the Young Soul* bullshit to get there. At least enough of it…
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*) Term changed after this post was originally written. Fractions of old terms may exist elsewhere in the post. Read about term updates.
**) Narcissists are Young Souls left alone to survive and they're doing their best. Their emotional age ranges from 3 to 17 -year old. The younger, the more severe the narcissism.
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