When to let go of your child reaching adulthood?

For parents, it can be difficult to let go of the control and parenting of their child. When is the right time? As with everything, the answer is different between the Young Soul* and the Old Souls*. Here’s the formula: the Cat Thinking parents tend to rush letting go, and the Young Soul* Thinking parents tend to delay it with every small excuse they can find. The Young Soul* Thinking children will love being held onto for as long as possible, and the Cat Thinking children want and need their freedom as early as possible.

the Cat Thinking children want their parents’ emotional SUPPORT (“You go, girl/son, you’ve got this!”) and respect, not their control.

Dog: “Be with me every step of the way”

the Young Soul* Thinking children wish their parents made as many of their decisions as possible for them while they know but they are able and keen to express when their parent can shove their opinion where the Sun doesn’t shine. The Young Soul* Thinking children will also take control over their parents once they feel they’re old enough – the Old Souls* Children never will. This is because the Cat Thinking adults cannot do dominance/submission -relationships (without a sexual context) and only ever agree to treat their parents as equal adults, not their subordinates or superiors.

Your the Young Soul* Thinking child wants nothing more than to be your perfect child even as an adult. They’ll appreciate any help you can give them to be that.

Cat: “I don’t need to be perfect as long as I’m 18.”

To the Young Soul* Thinking individual, it’s normal that “the child becomes the parent” at some stage, and that’s the sign that it’s time to change command, but the Old Souls* will expect their freedom to be given to them on their 18th birthday if not earlier, without it meaning they will be responsible for their perfectly capable, young, and fit parents’ lives as a consequence. The Cat Thinking child assumes that from 18 onwards, they will ASK for help if they need it. Their parents can offer it, but not push it on them.

You must realize that people are never perfect, and the Old Souls*, although they are perfectionists, know this. They thrive for perfection to earn their independence, and the harder you try to prove to them that you’ll love them no matter what, the more perfect they try to be so you’d trust them enough to let them the fuck go. If you want to make your the Cat Thinking child relax and feel loved, stop offering help all the time, and for the love of god, stop picking on their minuscule flaws to let them know that “you’ve got their back even in the slightest of errors.” All they feel is that you hate everything about them and that no matter how hard they try they can’t do anything right by you.

A the Young Soul* Thinking adult child will DISPLAY incompetence if they need help; they’ll appear out of control, out of sorts, obscure. A the Old Souls* -thinking adult child may act “weird” without it meaning they’re lost, insecure, or insane. Make no mistake there.

Parent’s old age

The Cat Thinking child will take care of their parents once the parents need them in old age, provided they’ve had the freedom to gain independence and wealth with which to do that. However, a Cat Thinking child will not move back home unless there’s no other way to do it. A the Old Souls* of parent will also not want their children there when they’re old; a Cat Thinking elderly person will want to keep their independence until the last possible moment and will be grateful for help only when that’s the last resort. The grumpy old person is a Old Souls*, annoyed by the loss of their most valued asset; their independence.

Still, up to that point, they must feel free to build their own lives and finances FREELY as responsible adults without their parents overlooking their shoulders or putting emotional barriers in their way. If you cannot do that, your the Cat Thinking child cannot manage their own lives successfully, and they will wind up with empty hands by the time you need them there for you. They may also be too angry about their parent’s need to control them and their actions by this stage to even care for their parents anymore, depending on how desperately the child needed their independence and how strongly the parents tried to hold on.

Which one is which?

Be well aware of this: You can drive your the Cat Thinking child away from you completely by caring too much. Also, you must understand that giving your the Young Soul* Thinking child too much freedom will make them think you don’t even care. For this reason, knowing which one your child is is of absolute importance.

A short study: A the Cat Thinking child is very easy to deal with for as long as they’re under 12, but they show very little interest in being your mini-me. They obey and behave nicely, but are somewhat aloof compared to the Young Soul*. They will get increasingly impatient with rules and expectations when they reach puberty, and by 16, boys especially, can get very indifferent about your rules.

the Young Soul* Thinking children are very eager to learn everything that you do from a young age. They want to take part in everything. Very hands-on. They are also easily peer-pressured and they have a strong need to fit in with their friends. They’ll take to fads, fashion, and popular teen culture easily compared to the Old Souls*, who show interest in more fringe teen culture, they’re not as easily marketed to; their tastes are more adult.

Let your the Cat Thinking child be driven to business, arts, music, and to be the money-maker – but don’t put pressure on them or you’ll ruin it. Train your the Young Soul* Thinking child to take care of the home, regardless of their gender, but give them clear gender roles. Boys do this, girls do this. (Very important.) the Old Souls* don’t need gender roles. If you have both, use phrases such as “good girls/boys do this and don’t do that” but don’t react to the fact your the Cat Thinking child couldn’t care less about your instruction; just ignore it and praise your the Young Soul* Thinking child for being “a good girl or boy.” Your the Old Souls* will despise their sibling for being that obedient, but ignore that, too.

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