When you help the Survivalist* out, but ask nothing in return, you’ll make them nervous.

the Survivalist* bond through the help they give and receive in their relationships, both romantic and platonic alike. They share their weaknesses and incompetence in their bid to find areas that need friends and family to patch up on, “I don’t know how to do my taxes, but I can mow your lawn for you for a year”  -sort of deals, right? Their friendships are built on synergy; “I do this for you, you do that for me.”

the Idealists* think of help as somewhat of a civic duty toward anyone who asks rather than a friendship -thing. If they CAN help someone, they can’t truly say no to it… And they most often CAN help, it’s just a matter of finding an excuse not to. They can also be asked to do far more for other people than what they are happy to do because they don’t really do this help exchange, as they most likely GENUINELY don’t want anyone messing with their lives for any reason. They can hate that thought so much that they ALLOW the Survivalist* to clean their house for them, just to let them feel useful somehow, even though they HATE IT when there are strangers in their home. Therefore, the Idealists* can allow the Survivalist* to help them as a further favor; and before I understood this dynamic, as a Idealists*, I often felt that the Survivalist* make me PAY for the help that I’ve already given them with MORE favors to them.

But, when the Idealists* thinkers don’t tell the Survivalist* what they want in return, they make the Survivalist* feel like there’s this MASSIVE FAVOR that you’re about to ask them a lot later, something that is usually bordering illegal. In reality, the Idealists* have NO INTENTION to ask for a return favor and feel vexed if one is offered. That may come off as “F***, I WANTED TO ask them to run some cocaine from my supplier to my dealer, but now that mothafucka has already mowed my lawn for a year, and I can’t ask them to do this for me, and I have to find someone else stupid enough…” When truthfully, they’re only annoyed by the poor job the guy did on the lawn but INSISTED upon doing it, and now the Idealists* has to go back and fix the lawn for themselves, correcting damage they wouldn’t have done themselves.

The Idealists* are odd kinds of perfectionists. “If it’s worth doing, I want it done my way,” and they don’t LIKE people doing things for them. They are almost always certain others are going to mess it up, and often, they do. A Survivalist* who is determined to make friends with the Idealists* will ask for favors after favors, and the Idealists* feels it’s easier to help them and shut them up than to keep telling them no. The happier the Idealists* seems to be to help them without saying what the deal is, the more suspicious the Survivalist* gets, and they may start suspecting them of all kinds of things that, to them, sound like “well, they’re banking these favors for the time they need to be bailed out of jail or something.”

What also annoys the Idealists* is when the Survivalist* try to GUESS what the Idealists* wants and needs from them and usually gets it dead wrong. THE WORST thing they could possibly do, is to “put in a good word” for you in a situation or another, usually painting you in the WORST POSSIBLE LIGHT because what they value people for is so vastly different to what the Idealists* value each other for, and you’ll also get “marketed” to the entirely wrong crowd. So, if you fear the payment comes in the form of spreading the word about you, MAKE SURE you’ve scripted what they are going to say and to whom, and NEVER let them in on the secret of who you are in love with… NEVER EVER confess to the Survivalist* who you romantically love until you’re safely with them… because they are going to, with a 99% certainty, very eagerly “help you” right out of that relationship.

Still, the Survivalist* can be helpful, so think of ways they could be useful if you find them troublesome. Maybe you get regular migraines and would kill for someone to get you stuff from the grocery store or pharmacist every once and a while? Would you want someone to walk your dog when you’re focused on work? For a Idealists*, it can be an actual effort to find ways for someone to be of actual help to them rather than an annoyance, but you might find something.

So, the moral of this story is this: If you don’t want to be a friend to the Survivalist* of person (all and all, it is smart for you to avoid befriending the Survivalist*), you better be prepared to ask something in return. The thing is, the Idealists* help each other and others without a second thought, but the difference is; they offer SKILLED and EXPERT help, whereas the Survivalist* offer household help and general labor… Which the Idealists* don’t like them doing. If you suspect someone is the Survivalist* when they ask for your help, promise to help but procrastinate forever with it until they give up asking. You can always be too busy to do free work, but “keep trying” until they go away.

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