When you’re in love with the wrong person you want them to be “less something” so you could work as a couple.

Men are well known for having relationships with women for entertainment purposes – for casual sex and even just company, while looking for the right woman to marry… Or trying to figure things out with her. Women and girls, especially, are no exception. We also have “comparatively best friends” out of the ones currently available to us, without having any real wishes for a future with them. This results to incompatible people keeping company and giving attention to people who they wouldn’t even notice existing, if Mr. or Mrs. Right were around.

When we’re talking about small-town relationships between young people, you’ll know that the more “different” the person is compared to everyone else, the lonelier they feel. They can’t move, being underage, and they couldn’t choose the place of their birth (at least in the traditional sense, and why they’re there, reincarnationally and spiritually speaking, is anyone’s guess). They’re stuck where they are, for now. They’re forced to choose between two bad options: be alone and wait to reach adult age so they can move (if even possible then!), or choose company out of the people available to them.

Finding love is not easy, especially for people with a very high IQ

Finding love is not easy for anybody, and the more quirky a person is, the harder it is. People with a very high IQ have trouble finding a company that fully understands them and can fully relate to them. The wider their area of intelligent awareness is, the harder it is for them to find compatible partners. EVEN IF THEY COULD technically be what average people want of them, an average person won’t be able to fulfill all of THEIR needs, perhaps not the needs they have for ONE of their multiple polygamous partners.

Wait for permission to fall in love.

It is always good for you to wait for permission to fall in love with someone. THEIR permission. They’ll hint toward it: They tell you they “like you” without being asked. WITHOUT BEING ASKED. Everyone will tell you they “like you” if you ask, but they don’t tell you without prompting. “I like you” is basically a request for permission to fall in love with you. It may also be a warning: “I am falling for you, if that’s not OK with you, end this now.”

You cannot help who you love, but you can stop yourself from falling in love with a person, even if they are your True Emotion Mirror. A lot of people do this knowingly and consciously, and WAIT for that person’s permission to take the safety guards off. Why? Because loving fully like that is MENTAL. You have to be able to trust that person not to break your heart.

Be realistic as an adult.

An adult understands that not all heartbreak caused is avoidable. If they are not in love with you, that’s not something THEY can fix. If they don’t love you the way you are, you have one option: accept it or change into the kind of person they would love. (Why can’t they change? Because they don’t love you, so they’re not motivated to change.)

One aspect of adulthood is realistic expectations in a relationship. There are multiple reasons why people won’t allow a relationship to develop further than a certain stage, EVEN IF that person is looking to marry or fall madly in love with Prince Charming, and you hope to be that for her. Still, there are factors to consider.

“Be less so I can love you, and you can love me.”

One of the most typical reasons why you don’t get love back is that you want to edit something OUT of the complete person. You might not like their sexuality or their “excess intelligence”, you might want them to be less outgoing, maybe. There may be “too much interest” in arts or music, or you think they should quit another hobby that “distracts them” from you. Typically, the biggest red flag that you have your hopes hung on the wrong person (and they know it) is when you try to make them LESS than what they are now. EVEN IF that “less” to you is an “obvious” improvement.

If your attitude is that “you would be a better person if you would change into X,” YOU do not love that person fully. You’re literally “forgiving them” for being “too much” for your liking. That’s very sanctimonious and isn’t often met with gratitude. Not being enough something is a more commonly noticed problem, but being considered to be too much is just as insulting. “Cut off your arm so I can fit you into my small car, as it looks to me you’re still waiting for a ride” is not exactly flattering or impressive, is it? (Either you get a bigger car (grow as a person) or understand you are not enough for them and let them wait for their ride.)

Rescue mentality is also not flattering.

Whatever makes you think you can rescue another person into your lifestyle is MOSTLY in your head only. Not everyone is after riches, not everyone is desperate for God’s approval, particularly if their God is even theoretically different, or a societal status that you think you can provide.

Maybe stop thinking of yourself as some kind of a hero, and have a realistic look at yourself and see what you’re ACTUALLY bringing onto the table. For instance, if you think you rescue them from their life before you, do you trust yourself to NEVER throw that in their face during an argument? “Just think what you were before me! You had nothing before me! I gave you everything!” And, then imagine if they didn’t even want to be what you wanted them to become, and now you’re acting like a cunt about changing for you, desperately expecting to be loved for it.

Yeah. Think again.

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