While I am not writing a new religion, I might offer some insights about conceiving children.

I am childfree, so I cannot fully understand the urge or need to have children. However, from the perspective of a neutral observer, I can see how people’s need to have children can cloud their judgment of what is right for the child. I believe that the most important task of any parent is to always consider the best of the child and that responsibility starts before conception, not after it. Your children may not be here yet, but your responsibility toward them already exists.

I have discussed this topic with countless childfree women, and I swear they have considered their responsibility toward their non-existing children more than many parents consider their very alive and existing children. They question whether they’re doing the right thing by their would-be children, whether they have the right to deny their existence, what their life would be like if they, indeed, had them, and so forth. I have never heard an actual parent give much of a thought to that effect – I’m sure they have but maybe as a childfree person, all I hear is selfish notions of wanting someone to be there when they’re old.

Newsflash… Only decent parents get to be surrounded by their offspring when they die. Childfree people at least have the excuse of not having any for their lonely departure. 😉 I’m just saying, maybe it’s not too late… To be better or to hit the breaks.

They accuse childfree people of being selfish, but if you have children for “non-selfish” reasons, that’s also a very good reason not to have them. Either or, the decision to have children or not have them HAS TO BE largely selfish, but not at the expense of the would-be child.

I do not believe “your children” will be “denied entry” if you don’t have them.

I believe we all have a big number of potential parents and even if we don’t we can be born to almost anyone in the world if need be. That is to say I do not believe that your refusal to have a child will put your would-be child in harm’s way. Therefore, child freedom is always a safe bet. (I’m sure we’ll notice it in time if we need to start making babies for the sake of having babies to save humanity from dying out.)

Consider who you’ll have them with.

Never ever have a child to appease someone. Not your mom, not your girlfriend, and definitely not your friends. If you’re a guy, I’d rather you go get a vasectomy to protect yourself from your own need to pander to female pressure to become a dad, than succumb to the pressure and have children with a woman you don’t fully adore. (And tell your doctor why you’re doing it so he can spare you enough slag for reversal, but tell everybody the procedure is permanent, as it might be… )

Shitty women won’t suddenly turn into sainted mothers after giving birth.

I’m being a little flippant. I’m sure that happens to an extent, but someone who doesn’t truly want to be a parent or is too selfish for it, won’t suddenly find an elevated parent -mode during pregnancy. Do not believe in the notion that shitty women turn into great mothers all of the sudden as if by magic. At least don’t count on that. They’ll probably become… Yeah, possibly worse than what they were, and possibly a baby will become nothing more than a shitty woman’s shield toward all nasty people who try to make her accountable for something.

Do not play roulette with your kids.

Don’t start a family on a roll of a dice. Don’t play on good luck. This is too important. Any woman who tries to guilt trip you into going against this very obvious good rule is not the kind of person  you want to have children with… And you also don’t want a father like this to your kids.

If you’re a guy, remember if your relationship fails, you’re likely to lose your kids.

The likelihood that the court orders your wife to handle the kids is super high at least for now. YOU KNOW everybody will listen to the woman’s perspective about who is at fault if something goes wrong. She will be able to successfully blame you for things that were 100% her doing. Don’t underestimate this risk.

Do not have children with a woman who you wouldn’t trust a sole custody of YOUR CHILDREN to. You are not the only one who decides whether you’ll come and go. When women leave, they’ll take the kids with you and blame you for it. Don’t be too naïve to think that if you treat her right, she’ll love you for it and nothing bad can happen to you or your children.

If you’re a woman, don’t use your child to baby-trap the father.

If you’re thinking of oopsing the guy, you have no business bringing up children whose moral upbringing you will be responsible for.

You’re supposed to have your children with your True Emotion Mirror.

I know I covered some pretty negative perspectives into having children, but you know… That’s how it is. If you can’t face it now…

But… You should wait for your True Emotion Mirror or a Lovers’ Choice Soulmate* to have your children with. Most of the time, this doesn’t happen. Most of the time, we mess up our relationships to our True Emotion Mirrors, and wind up having children with someone else. Still, if you’re going to go down the path of having children with the wrong person (and everyone except your True Emotion Mirror is the wrong person) at least have them with a Basal Value Spirit Mirror – another the Old Souls* if you are one, or another the Young Soul* if you are one. The opposites attract -mode is not good. This rule is, however, much more important for the Old Souls* than the Young Soul*.

These mixed marriages will end up in divorce or the Old Souls* perpetual unhappiness and The Young Soul* constant unease. That’ll affect the children. The DTT will more than likely seek emotional comfort from their children instead of their spouse, and that puts their relationship with their child under undue duress; they’re expecting the child to act as the emotional parent, because the Cat Type Thinking* spouse cannot be supportive enough for the Young Soul*’s needs.

What you will have to feel like before children can be discussed?

You need to feel completely safe and secure in your relationship. You need to feel loved by your partner, so that you know that the child will not get in between you two. There must be a feeling that you matter to your partner as yourself, rather than as a means to an end. You must feel that you are your partner’s priority #1 and they are yours, and your hypothetical children are your mutual priority #1.

You must feel like you love your partner more than you would love your children. The children, in comparison to your spouse, should pale – but only by a fraction. You must love your partner more than you’ll love you children – they will grow up, they’ll hopefully fall madly in love, and they are supposed to not need you after that. If you love them more than you love your partner, you’ll stop them from growing up, you’ll block their True Emotion Mirror from entering their lives because you will jealously guard your position in their lives. They’ll become your pseudo lover. (Not cool.)

The right feeling is quite sexy.

The natural feeling of wanting a child is the wish to bond your lover to yourself through a child. NOT the creation of a child for the sake of the child alone. It is a little bit of a perverse feeling, if I’m being honest. (I say this as a psychic empath.) It is a sexy feeling, no doubt, and it should be. The creation of a child is an animal instinct, don’t involve your head into it too much. Just make sure your checks and balances are in place, I don’t exactly support going for it and hoping for the best because you love each other so, but if I have to choose between two options:

a) You have a financially secure partner who is a paediatrician and a good family support network but you feel… Luke warm about your partner to say the best. You think they’re nice enough and everything looks GREAT on paper but you just don’t feel excited about having a child WITH THEM, it doesn’t feel sexy or romantic, it feels sensible…

and

b) You have a financially unstable partner who is the love of your life and who feels the same way about you, neither of you have a family to support you but you both just love the idea of having a baby together…

I’d rather the latter option than the former, although both options are questionable at best. Say what you want. Love concurs all… MUTUAL love that is.

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