Why are some people so strict about who they want to date, that it’s completely nitpicky?

While this is none of your god damned business as all you need to know is are they interested in dating you or not, the rest of it is their business, but I’m going to answer you anyway.

First of all, you have to stop the habit of trying to make someone change their mind about you and giving you a chance that they reluctantly might give you, or drag their feet into a trial basis relationship with you, which they then can’t leave because you’ll start crying and emotionally manipulating them into staying until eventually, they leave you “all of the sudden” and you STILL can’t figure out why.

WHY?

They don’t feel joy for being with you. You failed to make them feel joyous and happy in their everyday life. You focussed on YOUR happiness and forgot that this person, too, deserves to feel happy for being with someone special, and that need should be fulfilled by both partners. But that’s beyond the scope of the question.

So. Intelligent people tend to be more nitpicky about who they are interested in. The smarter a person is, the harder it is for them to find someone who is intellectually their counterpart. This is no joke. Listen. This means, that the number of people who are potentially capable of making them happy and fulfilled in a relationship are very few in number. That doesn’t mean at all, that the number of people a smart person can keep happy is low, in fact, intelligence is THE MOST ATTRACTIVE TRAIT for most people, whether they are intelligent themselves or not. This means that while a person at the highest end (and rarest end) of the IQ scores finds only 1 person out of 1000 interesting, there are about 800 in 1000 people (of appropriate gender) who find them interesting. That’s why they are used to rejecting people, and they are used to the frustration that being so popular without reward brings them.

So while you might think the things they focus on are meaningless, they are not meaningless to that person. And, if you were in an actual relationship with that person, you’d still think those things are meaningless while they think they are very meaningless, and you’d both feel frustration with each other, rather than happiness and fulfillment. THEY know it. You’re not the only average IQ person they’ve tried to date or befriend. They have prior experience of your kind, even if this was the first and only smart person you’ve ever known.

Smart is easy to identify. Your focus on them is a result of that. Still, a smart will… SHOULD keep looking, and a wise normal person will let them.

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