Why aren’t our romantic relationships working?

We all know that the vast majority of romantic relationships fail. 50% divorce rate and all. Those of us who are in relationships are most likely be gritting our teeth trying to talk ourselves into staying in them, as we are much more likely to be wishing for a quick end to the relationship than a happily ever after in this one. But we figure… It won’t get better by changing partners, after all, all women are essentially the same or all men are essentially carbon copies of each other. Wrong, wrong, and wrong again. We are not all alike; not men nor women, and the fact that you are not happy in your relationships is a result of one of two reasons: 1) One or both of you are pretending to be someone you are not. 2) You are yourselves but with the wrong person and simply trying to tolerate each other.

Then, there is the second reason, which is, the more telling one; Although there are people out there who are truly happiest in a monogamous setting, the number of authentically monogamous people is incredibly small. Also, non-monogamy doesn’t mean non-commitment or people who do not wish to fall in love completely, but it simply means that in reality, we are very social animals, and essentially we figure… The more the merrier.

We all know that having two friends makes you twice as happy, right? Having two children makes you twice as happy. We allow and understand the idea of loving more than one child equally and completely without blinking, the same as loving more than one friend, but somehow, someone has managed to get us convinced that loving more than one sexual partner is simply not possible, and that it is bound to end in tears. (And it will if you are constantly on your toes looking for reasons to not relax and truly surrender to the love you feel for your partners.) And I was with the sceptics for a long time; I didn’t even CONSIDER polygamyORpolygynandry¹ even though I was quite clearly a poly by nature, but the IDEA of polygamyORpolygynandry² never entered my mind as a real possibility.

What we also are not told or pointed out that masculine guys should look for masculine women (some call them tomboys or femme fatale), and feminine men should seek out feminine women. I will start using very specific terms in the future, but for now, let’s just use those words for the sake of instant recognition of the meaning for the words. Currently, the feminine are trying to tolerate the masculine and vice versa. The masculine women are not happy with feminine men but tend to wind up with them and vice versa.

The last major deal comes in the form of what we seek in a relationship. We are all pretending to want long term commitment over anything else, but in reality, some of us are looking for a deep sexual and romantic connection that would be rather self-fueling than forced. The people who value commitment over this really LIKE the idea that someone would, for example, stay with them even though they were in love with another person – sacrifice, you see. They connect this as true love; being sexually attracted to another person but still choosing to remain with their permanent partner. (Make a note on how you just felt reading that.)

I will be talking a lot about these aspects and how they affect your romantic and sexual life… and everything else you do in life as well. (I bet ya, that down the line following my blog’s posts you will wind up with the perfect career plan as a side produce to your quest of several daily orgasms. 😉 )

1. Depending on context. Some time ago, I used the term polygamy to mean either the generic concept of polygamous marriage or a MM+FF+ -type marriage or poly-committed relationship. ↩

2. Depending on context. Some time ago, I used the term polygamy to mean either the generic concept of polygamous marriage or a MM+FF+ -type marriage or poly-committed relationship. ↩

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