Why being as abrasive as you can be in a civilized way is important for your future happiness

I am one of those people who sit quietly with a brooding sense of objection a lot. I WANT TO argue, but I fear that in the current company, the argument would lead to TOO MUCH DRAMA for what it’s worth, and that it is better to keep my opinion to myself and just finish my drink or dinner. However… I’ve come to realize that this is not the right approach.

The easiest way to make people feel they love you is to stay quiet in their company and to never argue with them. EVERYONE loves someone who lets them be as stupid as they can without pointing it out. NOBODY is as popular as a person who lets another person think they’re right on the pink, so to speak. By staying silent and approving of their company by agreeing to spend more time in it, you are creating a false ego for a person by simply being around them, and accepting of who they are and how they think.

It is also not a good idea to NOT voice your concerns when you have them – to wait for further evidence before confronting someone.

The Fictional You – their vos of you

Ego is your idea of yourself, and vos is another person’s idea of you. When you stay quiet a lot, and allow people to think you don’t object to their thoughts or action, you allow them to think that you actually don’t object. You’re fine with this. You’re with them. You’re their right hand.

There are people who use this to a great effect: they simply sit next to you for as long as they can, and keep quiet trying to figure out what opinions they are supposed to adopt in your company. Others HAVE their own opinions but they keep them to themselves in order to keep the peace.

Opinion oppression in politics

I believe that Nazi Germany was able to rise because people kept their opinion about Hitler politely to themselves thinking a lunatic like that would never rise in power. Polite silence is the root of all evil if you ask me now. An argument is better than allowing ignorant people to dominate conversations, and for foolish people to judge other people based on their own agendas.

Trump is a great example, on both accounts. I believe he’s not as bad as people say out loud, and that a lot of sane, insightful, good people that support him, despite his many obvious flaws. There’s a lot to criticize, authentically, and I don’t think many people disagree on that point. It’s just that there is good in him, that is not currently socially acceptable to point out.

You were all surprised Mr. Trump was elected, but that’s because it was a social faux par to openly support him, still is. Therefore a lot of people were quiet, but that didn’t change their resolve of voting for the man. Therefore, the loss came as a complete surprise to Clinton supporters who publically shamed independently thinking Trump supporters into silence. This is why voting is done with a closed ballot, to stop a loud oppressive party into bullying voters into voting with them instead of what they authentically believe to be right. This is what happened with Trump.

What you believe, who you support and what you stand for is one aspect of your vos. Many people decide to keep their beliefs to themselves, as they feel the company they are in wouldn’t understand their reasoning.

Intelligence quota and why smart people often stay quiet

Geniuses are known to be silent a lot. Intelligence and “social awkwardness”, as extroverts see it, go hand-in-hand. There is a reason why highly intelligent people tend to keep their opinion to themselves while still seeing it as superior to the voiced out opinions, and that is the knowledge that the attempt to change the current company’s mind by using logical arguments would be futile and lead to nothing but an empty, needless argument.

HOWEVER. What intelligent people do not understand about stupid people is this: They change their beliefs by oppressive dominance being laid over them, not logic. They feel that it is their duty to go along whenever it is “the most confident” that their opinion is the correct one. Social people fear exclusion from their social circles if they hold “the wrong opinion”, while intelligent people fear making others feel bad about themselves and their ability to use sound logic to form their own world-view.

If an intelligent person is certain their view is correct, they should, AT LEAST voice their differing opinion out regardless of whether they bother to explain their view correctly. Here’s what’ll happen:

1. Voice differing opinion or objection to what is discussed out loud, but don’t explain why you feel that way: You’ll be excluded from the group as you are simply expressing disapproval of the unity. (This may be what you want to achieve in some cases.)
2. Voice a differing opinion and aim to keep the group together by emphasizing the importance of all of your friends see the this the same way as you do: “WE as a GROUP should believe THIS, and this is why I, the smart one, feel it’s the best/right thing for US to do. (This will give you a chance to both keep to your opinion and to educate those with you. The danger is that you’ll be seen as a group leader later on, and you may not want this position… In which case I recommend considering the first approach.)

Not voicing your opinion and their vos

If you don’t allow your opinions and beliefs to be heard, you allow your friends and family to form an opinion about your opinions that may be completely different from what they actually are. They simply start seeing you in a light that is harmonious to themselves, and they are more than likely interpreting your silence as a sign of submission or inability to truly engage with others, even though you had tons and tons of friends outside this group.

Not having anything to discuss with a group should not be a reason for your silence. Try to bring up topics that are authentically interesting to you – besides politics, discuss hobbies and interests that you KNOW the others are not interested in, just so they know to gradually let you go, and seek company with others more to your type. At least they will become aware you are more versatile than them, and that this group is merely about one or two topics that you share an interest in. At the very least, make a mention of your busy schedule every now and again: “And tomorrow, I’ll be meeting with my pottery class, it’ll be so nice.” Therefore, these friends do not get the false idea they are the ONLY PEOPLE you are friends with or who hang out with you, considering you are pathetic and silent a lot, and not very interesting to be with. :p

You’ll find true friends easier

As you voice out differences in opinion people will like you less, that’s true. However, they’ll be much more eager to let you go your own way, and will feel relieved if you find a better-suited group of friends. They may even introduce you to some “troublesome” people just to get rid of you – win-win, I say.

I suggest you feign ignorance about the fact others wouldn’t agree with you if they knew your opinion. Innocently discuss your views and let the others shudder in horror if that’s the way they feel. Don’t argue unless you have to, just SPEAK OUT. Pretend as if you didn’t realize you’re being obnoxious.

FAILING to do this may keep you locked into a group of people for centuries, pulling you further and further away from the people you truly love.

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