Why being in love is a bigger privilege than being loved

What I am about to say in the following post is somewhat obvious and still, not so much. Everyone is “looking for love”, right? There are two approaches to it: “I want to find someone who loves me”, and “I want to find someone who I love.” These two groups of people think about relationships from very different angles.

People who want to find someone who they love are usually very lovable themselves. They get A LOT OF attention, therefore, finding people who love them isn’t difficult for them. They also know that you either love someone or you don’t, and they’re not the talented one for FEELING LOVE or giving love, but the person who they love is special.

People who are looking for someone TO LOVE THEM are the opposite. They are not very lovable in any way. They lack personality, manners, intelligence, and looks, but the one thing they think they have “talent” in, is being loving, and “knowing how to love”. Here’s a news flash: Being loving is not a skill or a talent. EVERYONE knows how to do those things, but people don’t always know how to inspire love in others.

In your world celebrities would not be paid a dime

Being in love, being able to admire someone, being able to cast your eyes on someone and feast upon their entire person feels amazing. It feels amazing to all of us, but the people who are loving think that THEY are the talented ones for being able to love someone like that. However, if their perspective would be true, celebrities wouldn’t be the ones who get paid the big bucks but the “loving” people would be. If we just wanted to feel loved, we’d pay people to do it.

One of the loving people now shrieked in my head: “But how would that be? We can’t just decide to love someone!” And that would be my point exactly. LOVING SOMEONE isn’t a skill. It’s a reaction.

The same way as feeling hate, amusement, sadness, love is an emotional reaction to someone else. It is involuntary, not a skill. Therefore, people who have a skill of being lovable, which is actually a skill, get more love than those people who don’t.

Lovable people are mindful of other people

Lovable people are ALWAYS aware of how they come off to other people. This goes far further than just the looks, but they are good-looking because they don’t want people to dislike them for their looks. They don’t want to offend your eye any more than they want to offend your ego. They mind their words, they are kind, they are entertaining, they make sure that when they are around, others feel better about themselves. They don’t want to be the one who makes you feel sad, small, unlovable, hated, and attacked. They’re as easy on your mind as they are easy on your eye, and if you’ve ever fallen in love with a mean ugly person, you just give me a comment and I’ll carve a mark on a stone.

Half of celebrities work is to be nice to people. They mind their manners, take selfies with scores of fans, they emote with you and the community when things are bad. They take part in your sorrows and try to alleviate them. THAT is their job, NOT ONLY to look glamorous on the outside. Every celebrity that is found out to be mean and nasty toward their fans, loses some of their star power, but that is one of their best-kept secrets because nobody loves nor respects a meanie, particularly a pretty one.

I use celebrities as an example of what lovable people ALWAYS DO

Celebrities are people who are exceptionally good at being lovable. Whatever their slant to it is. Bad boy, good girl, the nice guy next door, you name it, they are all lovable in their own way… If they are nasty in public, they are heroes of a certain group of people, and thus loveable. The person who tells those other people how it is… I’m thinking of a certain celebrity who is both ugly and fat, and quite nasty by her mouth, but who appeals to people who think pretty people have everything easy… The unloveable people, that is.

Not every exceptionally lovable person is a celebrity. Lovable people with normal lives do the same thing but get paid nothing for it. Still, they are pleasant to work with, nice to look at, reliable as friends… Until they have enough of people who keep thinking LOVING THEM is a fucking achievement. “Oh you are so ungrateful. LOOOK, you could have my love! I’m good at loving!” And they just think wow… You think you’re SPECIAL because you are ABLE TO LOVE ME?! WOW, just fucking wow.

This indignation doesn’t come from a place of false ego. No. Thinking you’re special for being able to love a beautiful interesting person, who treats you nicely comes from a place of false ego.

When EVERYONE wants your attention

The trouble with lovable people is, that EVERYONE wants their attention so much, that they give attention to people who they are not truly interested in… Particularly in the sexual sense. To men, this is not as much a problem as it is to lovable women, because bisexuality is so accepted among women, that a heterosexual lovable woman should essentially sleep with EVERYONE to be able to have everyone keep saying that she’s a nice person. Especially if she’s still single… Or polyamorous.

These people can also garner an enormous spiritual package from people who think they’re their True Emotion Mirror because they love them so. When everyone wants to make sure THEY are the one who gets to keep you, your spiritual load of people who think they own you gets massive at a young age. If you’re not born on the right track, getting on it is difficult, because everyone wants to keep you wherever you already are. This creates an enormous package on your ability to manifest new job opportunities and new relationships. People also fear getting attached to you, and other loveable people KNOW how much attention and love you must be getting, therefore, they also avoid making your acquaintance too boldly… I call this the M8 syndrome¹.

False ego is based on the idea you deserve love

A false ego is based on the idea that you deserve love for whatever reason you think you deserve love for. For being loving? For “having been there”? For whatever reason.

Love doesn’t work on “deserve” in that way. You cannot dictate another person’s feelings for you. Even if you deserved love for whatever great things you are, you still don’t deserve it from anyone specifically. If they don’t love you, they don’t, and that’s the end of the story.

When you don’t think you have to DO anything specifically to make people love you (like treating them like a person instead of your doormat) you lose your lovability. There are people who never say anything nice to another person because they fear the power they’ll give you for treating you lovingly or being found out that they love you. Because they have no limit to their love, and they’d do anything for that love, they fear others will take advantage of knowing the they love them, therefore they do everything in their power to hide that love from them.

When they treat the other person nasty, eventually they turn nasty, too. At this stage, this person starts to feel that “now THAT person is hiding an undying love for me”. In reality, they’ve lost the little they had and their respect to boot.

Respect is knowing people don’t love nasty entitled people

Respect is the knowledge and understanding, and acceptance that people have the right to disown you if you act poorly around them. This is the opposite of the false ego that is based on the idea that you deserve love automatically because *enter a reason*. Respectful people will, thus, try not to be offensive to others, and THAT can easily be abused and also misread by people who don’t have respect.

I SWEAR about 80% of #meToo complaints come from women who thought they were entitled to love but who were scorned. It also comes from women who don’t actually take the entire movement seriously but think it’s a nice way to stick a dagger into a guy and expect him to act in indignation and… attack her back which means that she has another chance with the guy. Maybe even do away with the wife in the same swift blow. Competition dealt with, right? This is disrespect in its finest, but the women who’d do that think they “know how relationships work”. What they mean by that, in normal people language is “I know how to manipulate people”.

Respectful people don’t treat others in a nasty way simply because they need something from them, including, not limited to love or help. Respectful people don’t attack others in order to gain their attention.

How disrespectful women manipulate men

Men, KNOW THIS. Be VERY AWARE OF THIS: Women manipulate you ALL THE TIME by trying to make you angry. They think this is the only way to get and keep your attention. They think you’ll walk away as soon as they treat you nice – and to be fair, that’s a fair fear for many reasons. How many times do men walk away from the nice girl, because some nasty bitch keeps getting their attention and fidelity – but not his true love.

This is done to women as well. Attack means an attempt to gain someone’s attention. It is an effective tool for that, too.

Respectful people attack you when they want you to go away, mind you. They don’t like disrespectful people and they assume the feelings on that are universal. The same as disrespectful people feel that disrespect is the road to intimacy, friendship, and love, therefore they show you “they are not afraid of you” by attacking you.

Yeah. I think enough said.

1. A loveable person must be modest and humble, therefore, when they self-evaluate, they go “probably a nine, maybe an eight. When they meet another full ten, they’ll be modest and humble, too. Therefore, neither one of them thinks it’s a skill that they are loving, therefore they don’t pursue others at the same level of entitlement than true 8’s and 9’s would…” ↩

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