Why “I’ll be/do anything you want” won’t work on either Dog or the Cat Thinkers?

Unless that’s a sexual submission statement, “I’ll do anything you want” doesn’t work on ANYONE who isn’t an abuser. In fact, abusers may want to find your boundaries more than they want to find what you’re willing to do, so they can abuse your boundaries to their heart’s content rather than keep asking for reasonable stuff. (If you are an abuser and you found a Cat Thinkers’s boundary, you’ve already stepped over it and there’s no coming back from that.)

People who’d do anything for you are fun for a while, but even abusers find them boring. Just imagine someone coming to you with that message. Do you want to coach them how to be your ideal partner? No. You don’t. Would you want someone else to coach you? Probably. Will they? Probably not.

True love is when you meet someone who IS what you want them to be, and you are what they want you to be automatically. Already, by their natural instinct. And yes, it can happen and happens all the time. It is AMAZING when you don’t have to coach someone, teach, course, or force yourself to be what you always wanted someone to be. And once you’ve had that, I doubt you will be excited about the prospect of training someone to fake it for you.

There is also the matter that no matter how much you think you CAN BE what another person wants you to be, there are certain things that are mutually exclusive. You cannot be both an independent, autonomous person and do everything someone else wants of you if they want an autonomous, independent person for a friend/lover, for example. There are things you cannot become, even if you want to do everything and all things possible. You won’t suddenly gain a 50 extra IQ points by deciding to. You may “dress smart,” but that doesn’t make you smart. New glasses won’t make you make sense. If you put on a biker jacket, doesn’t mean you can truly appreciate a good rock n’ roll show.

I don’t know why this is so difficult to explain to people. There are simply things you CANNOT DO the same as someone born to it, no matter how much you wanted to.

And, even when we get this promise, you know it doesn’t REALLY mean what they say. It means, “I will do any humiliating thing you want me to do once, to make it all OK again, and then, I’ll be back being the same as I always was,” or something to the effect… Not at all they’ll do or be anything that is asked of them.

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