Why is it anti-feminist to solely accuse the male in case of domestic violence

Note; This post is written well before the full story of what happened between Johnny Depp and Amber Heard unfolded. I leave it out there to make a point that I was able to accept the possibility that Depp was violent, and am not blinded to that possibility… At all. Obviously, we still don’t know all the facts but there are more than enough questions to point in Amber’s direction as the likely villain at this stage. (My own feelings went from: “what he threw an iPhone at her? So?!” to “Oh fuck, so he really BEAT HER UP, I should apologize to her” to “Where’s the evidence…” to “Oh my God that woman is a lunatic!” And no, psychic information doesn’t travel the way that gives me exact, precise, and always correct answers, it’s more like “what are these people capable of in a certain circumstance and if THIS happened, what had to transpire before it happened to make persons such as these to do as the evidence points out, printed out in emotional code.”)

“Johnny Depp hit his poor, defenseless, innocent little wife of his, that delicate being that could not have possibly seen this coming, and who couldn’t have, in any way, caused him to erupt to violence. This poor lady, who isn’t equipped to handle her own life, or to make the rational decision of leaving him once she realized there was issues, has to be taken care of by her friends, her family (particularly the males of her family), and the justice system. That poor thing.”

What are we treating her as? A 12-year-old? As much there is an age difference, a 30-year-old, nor a 25-year-old are no longer incapable of adult decisions even if there was a major age difference between spouses. Why do we still treat women like they needed special protection, apart from the difference in physical strength that scares us so. Logically, intellectually, and by our abilities to make our own sound decisions, we SHOULD BE treated the same as men are. Apart from being protected through the violent act itself, and to be taken into safety if and when our husbands chase us out of our homes, and from being protected when we collect our belongings from our homes hopefully soon AFTER THE FIRST incident occurred, we should not be treated like innocent bystanders in our own relationships, completely without responsibility of our own actions, or the fact we might have deliberately irritated our husband just to see him pleasurably flair up in jealousy. Do not pretend you do  not understand the pleasure one feels when someone gets riled up to keep you to himself!

“This was not an isolated incident” in translation means: “I have condoned his behavior before. I was OK with it, until now.” What it perhaps, also means: “I liked it so much that he felt that strongly about me that I didn’t want people to know because to the world, we still looked great together until Barnaby Joyce made a fool out of us both and it was no longer cool to be married to Johnny Depp, who, in addition, hit me and I can no longer find excuses for staying with him, because I’ll lose face.”

Women were supposed to prove that we need no special treatment in relation to men, that we were capable of handling ourselves inside or outside our homes, just like men were, and that we were intellectually equal to men, given proper education. Now why do we still struggle to believe that all of that is true, or to behave in the manner that one would expect from women who have never had to live in a truly patriarchal society, if anything, it is currently very matriarchal, say what you will.

There was nothing stopping her from breaking it off with Johnny when she first realized he had a side to him that wasn’t exactly cosher. It should be NO SURPRISE TO even the most dim-witted of women that these things tend to repeat. From that moment on, she made a choice to stay with him, AND to MARRY him, and for that, she deserves no compensation for being abused during the marriage, because she entered it (apparently) fully knowing what he was capable of.

Women NEED TO be accountable for their own actions, just as men are. If we keep pointing a finger at one gender over the other, we are not living in a gender equal society but a mockery of one. Johnny Depp is what he is, and any woman who will consider dating him from now on should probably factor that in. If they go into it, they should be regarded as having made that decision well aware that being hit was possibly going to be a part of that affair. Possibly. Vanessa Paradis somehow managed to not ignite violence in him, maybe she is superhuman, maybe Johnny has now lost his mind, or maybe… Just maybe, what we are like in one relationship is not what we will be in another one.

But still. We know he can do it, him along with Every Person In This World, given the right motivation.

Besides, girls need a bit of excitement, too, and should not be shamed for liking things rough. She would be bored out of her wits with a guy who wasn’t the slightest bit violent… Just throwing that in as someone who has more perception to these things than an average person. Lots of women like the rush for the sake of their ego, but also sexually, but they do not like it when people start to pity them for their relationship… Let alone being forever linked to that god-awful apology video that Johnny Depp, by the way, shouldn’t even be on because he wasn’t accused of a crime as far as I understand… Again was that gender equal that he stood by his criminal wife through the humiliation that played HIS films all over the news in connection to the story, as well… Who has Heard of Amber?

Although I say women should not be shamed for liking things rough, I do say women should be shamed for acting like children when things are no longer the way they would like them to be, and the relationship turns sour in all aspects of it. It was what it was, they both got something out of it, and now it is over… All over (the news).

We shouldn’t be talking about it, but I like Johnny. He’s a cool guy, and I just hate what this marriage has done to him and his reputation.

Then again, he always wanted to shake that young heartthrob image. It is probably safe to say it’s been shaken. 😀

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