Why the Pragmatic* should avoid the Romantics*

Before I start, I’ll tell you that I am a Romantics*. Usually, I think quite highly of myself and my type, but when I switch to YOUR perspective, we don’t sound that nice. (The same is true in reverse, too, btw.)

the Pragmatic* don’t usually find reasons to avoid anybody, but I’ll give you some good reasons to. While you’ll find the Romantics* to be quite good friends and co-workers, and we’d say that about you, too, you want to avoid us as romantic and sexual partners as much as you can. Here’s why:

Our submission is not a sign of love or trust. It’s just conflict management to us.

We submit to anyone with a little growl, not just you. We see it as being easy to get along with; picking (choosing) our battles so we don’t argue over unimportant things. If something seems SO VERY IMPORTANT to someone that they’d start an argument over it, and if it doesn’t really matter to us, we’ll give in easy. It means nothing except “whatever, I don’t care one way or another, have your way.” NOT a sign of love in a Romantics*, although it is in the Pragmatic*.

IF we start putting up a fight, we’re already completely closed off on you, and you may be chasing someone with 0 interest in you, and you’ll make yourself look silly in the process. – In the Romantics* eyes, that is, if you care about that. We will be talking behind your back about how desperate and clueless you are chasing after a Romantics* man or woman, and we’ll laugh at you so… Just do yourself a favor and don’t do that…. IF you care about what people say about you, that is.

Value system that you don’t understand.

The Romantics* have two modes in relationships: We submit to your smallest wishes but stay obstinate about bigger matters, and if we don’t get our way without trying, we’ll dump you. We are self-righteously judging you for everything that you do but don’t teach you how to be more to our liking. We expect you to know, and when you don’t, we’ll either diss or ditch you.

The Romantics* have zero loyalty to a person who is not their own child; this includes the rest of our family. We will leave you if we don’t like you. The ONLY PEOPLE we won’t ditch when we get peeved enough are our own children, and even they have their limits.

Therefore, with a Romantics* partner, you have no securities, no safety nets. We’ll leave you with a wad of cash if we’re wealthy, and tell you to take care of yourself after we decide to move on from you, even if we had nobody else to leave you for. You CANNOT TRUST US TO STAY with you, to stick around, and you CERTAINLY cannot trust us to pick a fight with you long enough for you to get turned on by it. (After a fight, the last thing WE want to do is to “make up,” and when we refuse, you will feel like s***.)

We will also remember the fight and what caused it forever, and we will never stop holding it against you as proof of your incompatibility. Male the Romantics*, too.

YOU’LL NEVER BE GOOD ENOUGH – even when there’s nothing wrong with you; and we’ll agree!

Ironically, the Romantics* think we are never good enough for you – our value systems are so different that when each type thinks they’re doing alright, the other still has a laundry list of improvements left to make in the other.

When you think you’re doing a pretty good job at being a person, we will still look down on you, thinking you aren’t really doing enough. Take your weight, for example. We mean it when we say we like fit people. If you’re not downright athletic, we will secretly judge you. That’s an example. We tend to have something similar to that that we won’t force a change on you, but we’ll judge you for not getting it on your own and fixing it… For yourself. Without our support, so we can respect your effort. If we have to help you too much, we’ll think you’re a pathetic little baby, rather than fault ourselves for being unhelpful.

Guilt-tripping us on this will certainly make us walk out the door. We don’t like being judged in a relationship, even though we dish out silent judgment like it was a lunch hour special. Sometimes we try to improve, but we don’t take it as a chance to fight it out and see who is right or wrong, so we have this holier-than-thou attitude at all times without testing our perspective against yours.

If you ever judge us for anything, we’ll leave you. This is the reason: We will never WANT TO be with anyone who we’d honestly judge. Therefore, we’ll stay with people we don’t love out of pity for them because we believe ourselves to be utterly lovable. If you judge us out loud, we’ll feel YOU DON’T love us, we won’t judge you on that – but we’ll let you have your freedom back.

ONCE YOU PROVOKE US INTO AN ARGUMENT, it’s the start of the end to your relationship.

IF we get provoked into an argument, that’s usually where the fun stops, too. We don’t fight well. There’s not going to be a coming together in a giggling cuddle pile after – the Romantics* take a fight seriously, and we don’t want to lose… So… If you actually MANAGE to provoke us into a fight, the pleasure you’re hoping to get out of it simply won’t be there. We may make it seem to you like the biggest orgasm in your lifetime is being prepared, but what you’ll find is that the only escalation there’ll be is you getting dumped for it.

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