Why We Follow Bad Relationship Advice

Make no mistake of this: well-intentioned advice may be the worst advice you’ve ever received, and most advice that we ever receive is well-intentioned… However, most people tell you what THEY would want to have been told, NOT what they feel YOU need to know. This next bit gets a little complicated, read it as many time you need to fully understand what I’m saying. It’s not rocket science, but a bit difficult to comprehend:

1. Because we know a person who is advising us cares for us, we are inclined to take their advice.
2. Because we feel there is no point telling people to do exactly what feels natural, we are drawn to take the advice that seems counter-intuitive and unpleasant for us.
3. Because people wouldn’t intervene into your life when you are living life exactly as they would live it, the only time we hear advice is when someone is disagreeing with our life choices.
4. Because we don’t like what we hear, we are more attuned to the unpleasant advice anyway, and it is the loudest when we are trying to encourage ourselves to follow our own instinct and what we truly want out of life and relationships.
5. We RARELY hear anyone say “go for it”, “trust your instinct”, because when we are on our right path and people agree with us, they simply feel: “good on ya, kid”, as I mentioned before… People also feel it pointless to say: “I agree with you, you’re exactly on the right path here” too much, as it’s like trying to pedal water into going along the stream faster.
6. People ALWAYS believe they know what makes people happiest, no matter are they monogamous, polygamousORpolygynandrous, childfree or childed, workaholics or layabouts, they always feel THEIR WAY is the top notch, and tend to be really loud about the superiority of their choice.
7. Because to us, their advice sounds really unpleasant, we think they’ve reached some kind of an enlightenment, when, in fact, they are simply following their own bliss, as terrifying their lifestyle sounds like to us.

The conclusion is: Trust your own instincts. YOU CAN have what you want, and it can last forever. You won’t reach an age when you suddenly change as a person unless you are already conscious about the stuff you’d give up for a significant other. For instance, for some, hobbies are the reason they live, to some, hobbies are a past time that you have until you find a permanent relationship, and to them, giving up a hobby means “I’m serious about you”; it is a form of courtship to give up one’s hobbies and other loved things… More on that later, as it’s only one example.

No matter how young you are, you already know, pretty much, what it is that you want out of life. Also, if you’re older, you already know you still want what you always wanted since you were young, now, you just feel it’s too late, don’t you?

It isn’t.

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