Why would someone that sexy talk to me if they weren’t interested in me?

Looking good is not an accident. It is a result of respect shown first to oneself, then to others. It is a CONSCIOUS effort people put into in order to be datable by other good-looking people – why else would anybody bother? The fact that someone cares enough to keep themselves looking their best means that they are ONLY interested in others who do the same. It’s just about as 1:1 truth as there can be.

Putting effort into looking decent is usually not about being a show-off or being above others. Still, it also doesn’t mean they are UNAWARE of how good they look, even if they try not to act like they think they’re THE BEST-LOOKING person alive – or above others as a consequence of their good looks. They may be above sleeping with you but not above being nice to you and being friends with you. Still, romantically and sexually speaking, they’re putting in the effort, and they want someone who is willing to do the same. (But wanting something isn’t always what people are getting, and sometimes they’ll date modest-looking, but probably not as their first wish… You know they’re thinking: “How do I bring this up… She/he needs to get fit…”)

Good people don’t want gossip about being a good-looking a-hole.

Good-looking people are constantly observed by others. They are so used to it that they don’t notice it necessarily, but they still know that gossip starts swirling if they start acting nasty or superior toward other people.

Therefore, if they are involved with you professionally or at school, they have no other option but to occasionally talk to you if they’re over 14 years of age if they run into you or anybody else. There is no such scum of earth -type of person that a nice person can safely ignore unless they’re downright creepy and dangerous. They have to have that serial killer vibe about them, and you’re socially excused from talking to them.

Obviously, friends only!

When someone looks strikingly good, and they’re friendly with someone who isn’t, especially in professional circles, the #1 most likely reason is that they’re friendly with that person because NOBODY would suspect that to mean they are having an affair or assume they’re hitting on the more modest looking person.

The truth is, whenever someone is talking to a good-looking person, especially of the opposite gender, the likelihood that they’d allow it to morph into a relationship if circumstances would go that way is super high. Therefore, they know gossip will start swirling about sexual relationships if they’re showing too much attention to other good-looking people. If they have a partner, that’s obviously not a good thing, so.. They’re friendly with more common type of people.

It is possible to want a friendly interaction without romantic wishes!

People have friends. Acquittances, colleagues. It is possible, even likely, for a person to want to hang out with sex-neutral people just to NOT TO BE A CONSTANT OBJECT OF SEXUAL OR ROMANTIC FEELINGS, especially when those feelings are often one-sided; others toward them. They can be interested in you without being interested in you either romantically or sexually. Their interest may be purely intellectual.

Just because you think you’re not worth a kind word, it doesn’t mean others think you’re worthless.

Just because you’d expect a ‘superior’ come into the breakroom with you, fill up their coffee and get their muffin without even seeing you there, acting as snooty as you’d think they are entitled to, doesn’t mean they share your view on that. It would be very difficult to be in a room with another person and not to say A WORD to them, or to sit down for a break room chat while they’re at it. We’re not 12 anymore. We talk to people who are not our BFF and will never be one.

It would be rude to exclude you.

It’s not so much that it is nice to include you, as it is that it would be rude to exclude you. That said, you should feel free to relax around your colleagues and associates, everybody can have as many friends as they can fill on their roster. Between friends, looks shouldn’t matter. Good looks matter only in romantic relationships. It’s a sexual thing. Therefore, if you’re friends only, who cares what you all look like – within reason. Showers and all that. Stink is not a good look even between friends. ;p

Level up.

IF you make a real good friend or even boy/girlfriend with a good looking person, I GUARANTEE YOU they want you to level up, NOT wishing to drop their load and to be less than what they can be. The truth is tho, most of the time it goes that way; people level down. It doesn’t feel good to someone who is a bit of a perfectionist, and they will HATE THEMSELVES for it. Once that relationship runs its course, and it most likely will due to difference in life values that will run deeper than skin-deep, they will get fit again, more than likely.

LGBTQ -factor

I am Gen X. It used to be “safe” to talk to other girls without it meaning that you’re hitting on that person or that you’re romantically involved. Now, I’m not sure if girls can be friends anymore without it setting off rumours of some lesbian affair, even if they were both straight. That said, I am not sure how much longer we can actually have friends that are not potential sex partners, and I, for one, find that a little… Sad and daunting. I don’t like the idea that I have to constantly watch my step around other people, now even women, so that nobody gets the wrong impression and start drawing conclusions about who-knows-what.

I know that my “flirty” chit chatter with other women has been interpreted to mean something else, when it’s a good-looking girls’ signal for “I’m not the enemy, ladies.” As I am not interested in other women romantically or sexually, I relax around women. They are the people I don’t have to worry about having to offend when it turns out I’m not interested in them. But that ship is sailing fast, but I at least still have that one last place of safety: “Sorry, it’s not personal, I’m as straight as an arrow,” but who is going to believe me if everybody gets to decide how I “must be” feeling because it fits their sexual fantasies regarding my good person.

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