Why would you want to lose fat if you lose your friends with it?

I wanted to bring up something that a lot of people struggle with and no matter how good you look, we always could use a little more of that goodness for ourselves. We have all pretty much settled to the idea that what we look like is about as good as it gets for us; we can’t look any better no matter how much we try. That belief starts to seep into the thin/normal weight people as well; “the pictures of beauty queens have all been photoshopped so it’s a fool’s game to try to get there”. We no longer believe in beauty, because of Photoshop – and the entire goal of attaining that kind of beauty is seen unrealistic no matter where you start from. Even attempting to gain your ideal body is seen foolish, gullible and downright idiotic. What is more, political correctness dictates that you are no longer allowed to admire lean sexy women over “full figured” women, especially if you’re not one, because it demonstrates what terrible body and self-acceptance issues you’ve got! 15 years ago we didn’t have that belief, a photo was a sufficient proof of superior beauty, (more or less,) but now… every photo is believed to be photoshopped – and most of them are, but a true beauty is now a complete myth and therefore an ideal that seems as elusive as meeting Santa Claus. And yet… Somehow men achieve those goals all the time.

But that is not all that stops us from shedding the extra kilos. There are reasons that are even more discouraging, and that is what we think about sexy, healthy, lean people: They are shallow, one-sided, self-obsessed, salad-biting and dumb, if they get a promotion, it’s because of the way they look, not because of the way they think. Who would want to be one of those people? Then, we have another problem. When we are a bit round around the edges, people accept us better, WOMEN accept us better. We belong. We share the same problems, we can distort our bodies in front of mirrors and go “ooooh will you look at that..!” and then we go onto the rant about the eternal diet. We have friends. Men can’t be trusted to love you, but at least you’ve got the girls with you. And men, with the reputation that they’ve got, if you ditch your friends and go for the men by losing that fabulous fat, what does it say about you as a person? You’d rather starve yourself for the attention of a man than hang out with your chicks and be normal? You lost the weight and in 6 months time when your friends are asked why you’re not hanging out together anymore, they say: “Oh, she lost all that weight and she’s just not the same person anymore” and you know what? You won’t be. It requires permanent change, between the ears.

This is not where it ends. We believe that beautiful people are loved for their looks, not for their personality. We also believe that if we don’t have the looks but we’ve got friends and a lover, it is a proof that people love us for who we are, isn’t it? What if you lost the weight and you lost your friends because you became self-conceited like that? You’d lose the love that you had and now your personality is somehow different because you’re no longer fat. Also, putting on fat has one clear benefit: If you are fat and people don’t like you, it’s because of the fat, not because of who you are but because “people are shallow” like that (and it’s their loss). If you lose your job, it’s because of the way you look, not because you’re incompetent, isn’t it? If a guy leaves you, it’s because he’s a shallow bastard and can’t love you because you’re fat… Etc. etc. The weight gives you an endless amount of excuses to keep you from ever truly having to ask this question: “maybe it’s me, not them..?” Who wouldn’t want that?

It takes an ironclad self-esteem to be smart and stereotypically beautiful – and now I must make a statement to say I acknowledge the beauty of a woman who TRULY enjoys their body regardless of it’s shape or size… ENJOYS IT, not only accepts it. Being dumb and pretty (too dumb to read this post and too pretty to care) is fine because they don’t want to be thought about for much more than their looks, but to be an all-rounded individual, and beautiful to boot, that takes a lot of courage because you risk being seen as mean or dumb based on your looks. Fuck, sometimes you do turn mean just to protect yourself from feeling too much compassion for fatter people and being forced to put on weight just to make them feel better.

What if you knew that by losing the weight you know who truly loves you for you, not for your body, because if you do that and lose friends, do you really want them as friends? If someone is obsessed about your looks rather than your personality, you do know… It sends shivers down your spine. What if you truly believed that looks don’t matter that much, that the body is only a body? If you did, there wouldn’t be so much resistance in you to lose the weight. I believe that a lean body is not an incentive for a relationship, it simply removes a barrier for it – if you want to attract good looking people to you… Like attracts like.

There is that thing, though. Your looks will, to a degree, dictate what kind of people you will hang out with. It won’t be cut and dry like that, obviously, but it will change a lot of your relationships. If you don’t want to lose friends at the same rate as you lose fat, you know you won’t lose an ounce. (LOA works that way without you even have to be conscious of this.) It will also change the men that you attract, and that is not because they love you for your body, just that they are no longer put off by it because you are and subconsciously you told them to be, too. That having said… Do you truly want to lose fat? A lot of you will now, for the first time, truly realise they don’t want to give all that up for a lean body. Some of you will think that hey; if I lose my friends for this, are they really my friends? Also, perhaps you feel pressured to want a body that you don’t want – we often feel pressured to want the exact opposite of what we want; the lean feel pressured to love plump more and vice versa.

This is not where the resistance ends, either. Then we have the collective woman – factor. Women hate other women who rise the bar too high. Women don’t like that kind of challenge. When a man sees another bloke get fit in 3 months they go: “Fuck I wanna do the same!” A woman goes: “Now whyyyyyy did you have to do that, you make us allll look bad. hahah LOLZ” but you know they actually do mean that: “You make all of us look bad you bitch.” It is a lot easier to be raised into a lean body rather than try to change your entire life and outlook to accommodate a lean you. I have no hesitation to say this: The task is beyond a feat. To lose it and to keep it off under these circumstances is such mind-mastery that anyone who has done it without losing friends over it is a freaking genius.

But you might want to grab a friend who is willing to lose friends with you. Join forces and see who still loves you after you’re both stinking hot!

Trust me, calories have very little to do with this. If your soul wants to protect you from the world by wrapping you in warm and soft fat, it will dig fat out of the food you eat and rather burn muscle for energy than burn the fat off you – it’s all up to you. Once you realise that you want to be sexy, lean and beautiful, you will start behaving differently without having to consult one diet book. I promise. Up until then, stop beating yourself up about what you eat (it doesn’t matter) and simply process this. Once you figure it out, it will go smoothly from there.

Besides, you might actually find that you do enjoy your body the way it is, and it becomes an actual fact and not just a mantra you keep repeating to yourself.

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