Why you can’t use your friends and family as volunteers.

When you’re aiming to be a star of some kind, business, or art, you rely on your exceptional talent, skill, vision, or eye for detail to do what you do. This skill is most likely lacking in your childhood friends and family members, otherwise, you wouldn’t be considered special anyway.

There are people who do the work of 10 people in half the time it takes 10 normal people, and in higher quality. Such a person cannot rely on a relative to do even the slightest work, because they will have to give up work they’d do better to a person who only wants to do it in order to gain credits from their family member later and to attach their name to that person. This is, obviously, unless your family member is exceptionally talented, too… In which case they probably have a project of their own to do. Exceptionally talented family members RARELY work together, although that has been seen to happen, too, obviously. And, if that’s the case with you, you are lucky… Not exceptionally loving.

Work for unconditional love

Normal people love unconditional love. They want that love to be shown in the work they volunteer to other people. Unfortunately, unconditional love seekers also want unconditional praise for the work they’ve done. To them, it’s not the quality of the work, it’s the fact they’ve done it. This lowers the quality of the end result. In addition, usually achieves nothing but a potential reason for a permanent breakup between yourself and a family member or former friend when you have the gall to demand a professional finish from free work and from someone who loves you.

You’d be better off asking for volunteers among your fans if you have any, but even that has its dangers. You can only do that for so long before you will be seen as a cheapskate and a user. Hiring from among fans is different, tho. Indeed, hiring from among friends and family members is slightly different, but also fraud with danger, because they easily feel that they should get off easier and paid more than what you’d pay a qualified, motivated stranger, considering they’re family.

Also, people who work for unconditional love will also do a bad job on purpose. They want to be forgiven for the shoddy job they’ve done.

Just an ordinary guy.

If you don’t want a family feud on your hands, you have to accept lower work standards. It is also dangerous to allow ordinary people too close to you in the eyes of the media if your profession is public. Childhood friends and family members may be very eager to prove how well they know you, while not knowing what is appropriate to speak about and what isn’t. They may also represent you to others, including your colleagues, in a light that means well, but you don’t like being known for. When ordinary people want to put on a good word for you, they usually want to use the phrase “just an ordinary guy” every chance they get, and that might be neither accurate nor flattering to you.

Ordinary people also want to present your life to be as ordinary as possible. They don’t like boasting; that’s why they’re ordinary. Interestingly enough, if an ordinary person has talent, she or he rarely notices using around ordinary people is… Boasting. They may shamelessly flaunt their baking skills or decorator skills in front of people they know can’t compete but find it offensive when another person does exactly the same thing. You don’t want THEM near you, either. Of course, you may have family members with exceptional skill and talent you can use, who also do not have a need to boast or use you as a pin-lapel person.

The Brownie-Point Punishment

You probably already know all of this, but you may feel you’re a bad person for thinking this way. Maybe you are. But it’s time to get real about it. Do you want to do a great job of it, or do you want your family members to feel loved at the expense of your project? Do you feel loved when they destroy your work and try to present you in a way that they’d prefer you to be, maybe hiding the fact they’re ashamed you’re not “just an ordinary guy”?

The decision is yours, but let me tell you this: every person in your shoes knows what you’re going through and understands if you refuse free help.

Also, imagine this as Universe’s test. For as long as you express fake feelings toward people in order to gain immediate brownie points, your business or organisation is being gradually dismantled as you work a ton harder than what you should be working to keep everything afloat. The more mouths you’ve agreed to feed as you go along, the harder you work as they quietly pick your business (and your calm) apart. The Universe wants you to be honest, and there is a natural punishment for going for brownie points.

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