Why you need to let a runner go.

Now… I don’t think I’ve said anywhere to chase people away if they don’t love you fully. I am certain that interpretation has been made, however. What I am saying is that you have the right to assume, that somewhere in this big wide world you can find someone you love, who loves you for who you are, too. That this dream isn’t a foolish one, and that if that’s what you wish for, I don’t want you to ever think that you have to settle for someone who doesn’t love you – or that anybody should.

That doesn’t mean you have to force yourself to end relationships that are not perfect, just to be brave and to prove that you really believe me. No. I’m saying… Start working on yourself – maybe not for this lifetime, but for the next. Start contemplating who you truly love (even out of people who are long gone from your current life.)

I don’t want you to hang onto people who don’t want to be with you, however. I need you to let them go, but I don’t mean you have to chase them away. There are times when your best or only available realistic choice is to remain with someone who isn’t 100% right for you ultimately, but who is right for you for the time being. If this thought brings you relief, maybe you are with the right person…? It kind of depends on how they feel about it; do they want to go? If they want to go, truly, let them go. If their wish to leave is because they think they’re not good enough for you, then you need to make sure they know you value them and show it, every single day! You can’t keep pointing out flaws in someone who you want to stay with you without making them feel like you don’t even want them there. If you think they’d be more likely to stop thinking themselves worthy of other people’s company if you could just bring their ego down a notch, you’re doing a horrible job at telling them they’re valued where they are. You don’t want to make someone who feels perfect to feel like you don’t appreciate what you’ve got and they should just find someone who does.

How you treat other people predicts how they will treat you. How fast they’ll take the opportunity to get the hell away from you. If you don’t think you should tell them how much you love them, you can rest assured there are people who are perfectly happy and willing to tell them how much they’re valued… And who are willing and self-confident enough to keep telling them how much they’re valued.

You gotta start talking about your feelings honestly with the people in your life, you have to allow them to know their own worth to you, and still make a decision if they feel you’re worthy of them. Maybe you feel worthless; but tell you what, if the only thing you ever do in another person’s life is to keep reminding them how they are NOT SPECIAL, you will CERTAINLY lose them over time… Because everybody is special to someone, and if you make it obvious to them that YOU are not one of those people who think they are special, why in heaven’s name would they stay with you for?!

If you can’t find it in your heart to humble yourself to tell the people who you love how much they’re appreciated, then fuck, you deserve to lose them. And, also, once you accept that someone is worthy, you’ll also accept that you don’t get to hold onto them by force, and THAT is the scary part. You’d have to trust that they come back to you willingly, and you don’t think that’s ever going to happen, do you?

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