Why “you’re making me unhappy” isn’t the same thing when they REFUSE a relationship with you

You may need help to explain this to someone, or you may need this explained to you:

Young Soul* will complain: “But I want a relationship with you, and your rejection is making me unhappy. I would be happy in a relationship with you. Have sympathy.”

Old Soul* will complain: “I am not in love with you, being in a relationship with you would make me unhappy. I want a relationship, just not with you. Have sympathy.”

Young Soul* thinks this is an equal complaint since you both want a relationship anyway, whereas the Timeless see this as a no-brainer: this relationship cannot happen. This is why:

People CANNOT be someone other than who they are. You are who you are, they are who they are. Permanent state.

If you make the relationship a permanent state by agreeing to it, the Timeless will be PERMANENTLY UNHAPPY while longing for a fulfilling relationship with someone else, while being expected to remain faithful to a person who cannot bring them joy, whereas the Modern will find happiness that way.

What IS NOT permanent however, is both of your unhappiness if you move on and try and find someone else to have a relationship with. If you both move on, you will BOTH ultimately find happiness with someone. If you start a relationship, the Timeless KNOWS they’ll REMAIN unsatisfied, while the Modern does not even care that their partner is unhappy. That’s why the Timeless will or at least should insist that the relationship cannot happen.

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