Why “you’re making me unhappy” isn’t the same thing when they REFUSE a relationship with you

You may need help to explain this to someone, or you may need this explained to you:

Young Soul* will complain: “But I want a relationship with you, and your rejection is making me unhappy. I would be happy in a relationship with you. Have sympathy.”

Old Soul* will complain: “I am not in love with you, being in a relationship with you would make me unhappy. I want a relationship, just not with you. Have sympathy.”

Young Soul* thinks this is an equal complaint since you both want a relationship anyway, whereas the Cat Thinker(s)* see this as a no-brainer: this relationship cannot happen. This is why:

People CANNOT be someone other than who they are. You are who you are, they are who they are. Permanent state.

If you make the relationship a permanent state by agreeing to it, the Cat Thinker(s)* will be PERMANENTLY UNHAPPY while longing for a fulfilling relationship with someone else, while being expected to remain faithful to a person who cannot bring them joy, whereas the Dog Thinker(s)* will find happiness that way.

What IS NOT permanent however, is both of your unhappiness if you move on and try and find someone else to have a relationship with. If you both move on, you will BOTH ultimately find happiness with someone. If you start a relationship, the Cat Thinker(s)* KNOWS they’ll REMAIN unsatisfied, while the Dog Thinker(s)* does not even care that their partner is unhappy. That’s why the Cat Thinker(s)* will or at least should insist that the relationship cannot happen.

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