Will your children be there when you grow old?

If you got this post at random and the image fits, consider this post a warning. There is a danger that you are pushing your kids toward a point where they no longer care about you. You maybe so busy insisting they take your every need into account in their lives that you leave no room for them in their own lives. While you maybe in the need of reassurance that they will take care of you when you’re old, all they feel is the walls around them collapsing on them pushed in by your selfishness and neediness.

Now. When you’re old, you will be living on your children’s terms. If they move to China or from China to France, and you want them to take care of you, you’ll be going with them – not so that they’ll move back home to take care of you. Also, if you have held onto your children emotionally so tightly, that they don’t have room to make money, you can rest assured they don’t feel they even COULD care for you if they wanted to. Your children have a short span of time to make their way in this world so that they can take care of you financially and emotionally when you’re old, but if you’ve stuffed that time into your own emotional needs, forcing them toward a direction that isn’t natural for them, you can rest assured they can’t be for you what you refused to be for them: a resource, a source of support, and trust.

Having children was never for the faint of heart, and if you’ve spent most of your life being needy toward your children, you’ve got it all backward. You’re supposed to be there for your children until the day you LITERALLY CANNOT, not the other way around. THEY needed your support, not your resistance when they were making their way in this world, and if you stood in their way, YOU are the one to blame for them not being able to care for you when you’re old.

So. You have to trust your kids to be on the ball, and you have to trust them to take care of you – but if you’re pressuring them into loving you, it is unlikely they’re even able to feel love for you – even theoretically speaking. I know that if people put a lot of pressure on others to love them, they literally cannot find the emotion in themselves, because YOU are holding onto it. Don’t pressure people into liking you, you’ll have to let them like you freely – the same goes for love, care, and whatever other emotion they may feel for you. Don’t try to control other people’s feelings, they don’t belong to you, even if they were your child.

No child that has a good relationship with their parent is going to leave them for dead. If you rejected them when they came to you for their emotional or physical needs, and they won’t be there for your old age, it’s on you. If you haven’t made that relationship work while you didn’t need anything from them, it’s on you.

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