“You can’t change them against their will” doesn’t mean “manipulate and coerce until they let you change them!”

I have noticed an interesting thinking pattern in… stubborn people. The proud control freaks. The ones who want to have their way no matter what… (The Normal Person*, that is.) They may be completely convinced that they are correct about everything, so whenever someone who enjoys a level of authority says something that contradicts their way of thinking, they decide what they meant to say was in an alignment of what they always believed to be true… Such as:

“You cannot change a person against their will.” Even if the context clearly states that it is brutal, disrespectful, controlling, and unloving to even want to change a person to your own liking, they hear: “You can’t change an inferior person into a better person until they realize they have got a problem and allow you to fix them for them. Just keep on nagging and coercing them and forcing your opinion on them until they give up and you have your way.”

Their idea of themselves is “I am superior, I know how things are done, everyone else must bow to what I know and do as I think is for the best.” They do not consider the fact that other people have had the same opportunity to make up their minds about how life is best lived as they have, and that at some stage you have to let people make a different kind of judgement or decision than they do, as we can’t all be expected to “be children until we all think alike”.

These same people interpret things like “Until you learn to think for yourself” as “Until you learn to think like I do on your own without me watching over you all the time” rather than “Consider all of your alternatives and then make an independent decision that suits you.”

These people believe there is only one right way to do things, and if there is an alternative way, it is “a foreign” way of doing things, less advanced, at that. It seems to cause them physical pain to consider the possibility that someone might have a good reason to not do things the same way as they do and to make a differing decision, and choose to live their lives in a different way to what they are familiar with.

The fact they also have an issue with adjusting to a relationship in any other way than full on (on your skin) or completely absent (let’s pretend we’ve never met), they believe that either you will change them into who you want them to be or they’ll change you into who they want you to be, or both change in order to remain together. The problem is, that when people are added to a group by an external association like being family members rather than through a voluntary meeting of similar minds, there is often more differences in thinking than what there are similarities. Therefore, people who feel there always needs to be a boss and only one right way to do things, but we also cannot but either adapt to each other or to break up COMPLETELY even if we’re family, these conversations tend to get tiresome or too hard to handle. The Normal Person* will always try to give others “the benefit of the doubt” which means, to them, that “OK, it seems you have a different way of thinking about things, but I am sure I am mistaken and you actually agree with me 100%, you are simply very poor of expressing yourself, and we need to work on your self-expression…” And that, to a Savants* is frustrating and infuriating, because they simply cannot get heard by the Normal Person*, and feel like they are talking to the walls.

The point to this post is, thus, that you CANNOT LEAVE ANYTHING TO QUESTION OR INTERPRETATION with the Normal Person*. Not the tiniest thing. If there is ANY CHANCE for misunderstanding, they’ll take it. They always believe everyone thinks like them, or should think like them, if they don’t, they believe they have to be taught to think like them… The Savants* must ram the truth home to the Normal Person* around, that Sorry but I do NOT think that way, and I never will, and you can simply deal with it…

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