You decide what matters to you in a relationship.

There are people to whom stuff that matters to you in a partner does not matter to them. They’ll think that stuff is stupid or vacuous or shallow or childish. Some people go for connection; others go for commitment with or without connection. There is nothing wrong with either, as long as you know what you want.

We tend to flatter ourselves, thinking we know what is important in a relationship, and try to convince others to feel that way, too. However, we are all different, and what matters to one person is completely vacuous to another person. Still, they may not understand WHY something is important to you, because it’s actually an intellectual thing – like good looks and aesthetics.

Expecting to find the right one, true love, and perfection is NOT stupid or naive. The opposite is.

You don’t need to settle. You must TRUST that your luck is a sum of the people you let into your life. If you seem to be off course now, it’s because you’ve let yourself be talked into bad soulmate binds in your previous lifetimes and/or this one. There have been bad gods you’ve worshipped and good gods you’ve abandoned, or vice versa. Gods are spirits/entities who think they’re gods, but are, in practicality, no different to any other living thing. You may have thought the people you truly love must be too good for you to love you back and systematically taught yourself to settle for less.

But here’s the thing: people who are more ambitious for a higher-level marriage or partnership than what they have a natural match for tend to want to make you believe that such people who would match you perfectly don’t exist or are faking it. To believe that, you’d have to believe that YOU don’t exist, either. That’s dumb. If you believe such women or men don’t exist who could match your virtues don’t exist, that just makes you a blatant sexist… (Then again, if you ARE a sexist, there might be something in it, something fun to explore, really.)

Write your wishlist freely.

Forget what your mom and dad said you NEED out of a relationship. They’re not you, and they were brainwashed, too; successfully or not, is a different thing.

Think about what you love about the people you love and key in on what it is that you want out of a relationship in general. Be shameless about it. As shameless as you dare.

You can decide what you want your partner to be like – even if you didn’t get the one you wanted, there’ll be someone like them. NEVER hang onto someone simply because they gave you attention or love once. That’s not much to go by.

NEVER settle for something less than what you want simply because you couldn’t have the one you want – now or ever. And… Even if you couldn’t imagine loving someone as much as you loved that person – that’s a benchmark to what you need to look for, not an example of the level of love you can’t have. You may not get THAT particular individual, but you CAN and WILL find love like that again… Even better because, you know, there’s something to be said in favor of being loved back, too. 😉

Don’t (accidentally) make life-long commitments to temporary lovers.

When you are disappointed, desperate, and eager to settle for less, is no time to make lifelong commitments to temporary lovers out of the convenience of it. Certainly, don’t commit to people who are not even temporary lovers but temporary company at best. And never ever coach people to settle for less, even if we frequently must advice people to give up on THAT particular love interest.

And steer clear of friends who don’t live up to your standards. Your friendships invite more of the same, and if you wouldn’t date the same status people your friends can hope to date, that friend ain’t no friend of yours… Instead, they’ll draw in people who are not right for you, and they may also be very… Willful at times. Ill-fitting friends are bad for your love life; be aware, woke, if you will, about that.

Your good luck is the sum of the compromises you’ve made in friendships

Your good luck and happiness are the sum of the compromises you’ve made in (all of) your relationships. Some of us have put all of our eggs in one basket, giving no importance to friends, family, colleagues, nothing, as long as we can love the one we love for the rest of our existence. The problem is, all these compromises leave people in the position, where their friends and family hate the True Emotion Mirror because he or she will take them away from them, like the devil that lures their perfect virgin daughter away… (Haha.) And they know they’ll lose their friend/family member to his or her True Emotion Mirror.

So there you have it. Your “luck” is the sum of the compromises you did or didn’t make… In everything. Every time you settle for something less than what you want, you take a small step away from the loves of your life and the life that you’d love. This is an example of moral selfishness – do the right thing by the people you love the most by insisting to be with them – as they need you as much as you need them. Do this, even if it means being completely alone for the rest of your life as you break your bad soulmate connections.

Help your Misters and Misses Wrong find their Mr. or Miss Right by rejecting them.

The Universe rewards selfishness. Ironically, selfishness is not as selfish as you think it is; as you’ll ONLY remove yourself as a potential friend or a partner, all you’re doing is to say: “I’m not the right one for you and you deserve to find the right one.” Your rejection makes their selection process faster and easier. The more self-aware you are, the easier you will help them narrow down their options.

Can you think of it this way: If you feel a person A is a compromise to you, they will also see you as a compromise to themselves. You may be “too” handsome, “too” smart, or “too” ambitious – all of those things regrettable qualities that make you a difficult partner. To your right partner, those traits are the very thing they love you for, and the lack of them will make them feel short-changed, just like you feel with your compromise people, too.

We all will find our rightful place eventually. Just stay tough.

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