You don’t have to try and trick straight men/women into straight relationships.

I think both genders have this idea that the other gender would rather not deal with the other. There’s a backing of reality to it, and it’s a bit of a long story to share. I’ll get to that for those who want it, but for those who don’t, let’s just say this: Heterosexual and heteroromantic people want to get into a relationship with the opposite gender. They really do.

Why we think they don’t, this is the long story:

Hetero-monogamous societies and how they’re still ruining your love life today, especially if you’re a heterosexual monogamist.

Historically, we’ve lived in societally enforced hetero-monogamous societies, by and large. This means gay, bi, straight, mono, or poly; you were getting straight married or remained a spinster or a bachelor, which was a bit of an outcast social way of living. Nobody knew anything about gay people, and if they did, they were treated as deceased… and frankly, so were straight women who showed too much interest in men. Straight women literally had to pretend to be kinda gay to get married at all.

You can count on gay and straight people taking to straight marriage a little differently.

You can count on one thing without being a psychological genius: straight and gay people take to heteroromantic/heterosexual relationships very differently from each other, with different motivations. If you’re gay, all you want out of that relationship is money, success, connections, financial prosperity, and your same-gendered people’s admiration. Your prospective spouse or their feelings, whether they love you or not, do not really matter to you all that much.

If you’re a straight man, you easily associate the women’s behavior in general with the ones who are there to NEGOTIATE a marriage like a business deal. Gay women are not looking for romance, they’re after a deal, and they’re not waiting for romantic moments in the gardens, and if they get into them, it is in the purpose of seducing the obviously heterosexual man into believing he is loved. A heterosexual woman would be a lot more coy, afraid of rejection, and cautious in her love confessions because she actually cared. To the gay woman, all he was was a pawn, if she can’t cath this one, there’ll be another prospect just around the corner. For the straight girl in love with him, he’s not that easily replaced.

Gay women had to pretend to want it – at least until they got wed.

Then, there’s the sex part. Gay women had to learn to PRETEND to be sexually interested in men. They’d observe women who do it openly – perhaps prostitutes – to get their cues right. They were quite certainly coached by older women to act “right” with men, a lesson heterosexual women would take with a feeling of “weirded out” as “the way it’s done” is obviously fake and false.

Straight women would not think twice about the wedding jitters of a gay daughter; they “know” she’ll enjoy the sex, and what she’s afraid of is simply excited nerves. She’d brush off her daughter’s fears and encourage them to just get to it. A gay mother of a straight woman would fill her with strategies on how to get away from sexual situations and how to profit from them as much as she can… Making her straight daughter feel anxious about her WANTING to have sex, as it clearly, it doesn’t seem NORMAL for a woman to want it.

The result is that both straight and gay women act unnaturally with men, but that’s not where it ends.

Straight women had to pretend NOT to want it – at least until they got wed.

Now, gay women have a clear disadvantage when it comes to getting married: marriage is a sexual relationship with someone they don’t feel sexually attracted to even in theory. Therefore, the straight woman had to be sexually shamed and oppressed so that she doesn’t give straight men ideas about marital bliss being what heterosexual women can, at least with the right man, give him. There HAD TO BE an entire belief system that supported the idea that women, in general, do not like sex and that women who did enjoy sex with men were whores, sluts, witches, or, generally speaking mentally ill.

Therefore, straight women had to HIDE their sexual and romantic desires and pretend as if they didn’t really exist unless they were willing to lose their reputation and live their lives as prostitutes. The remnants of this expectation are still VERY EASILY seen in our cultures. In addition, now it has taken a new form; toxic feminism. You’re seen as a gender traitor if you show too much love and understanding toward a man, but that’s another story.

Who could blame a straight guy for thinking the gay woman was the better catch?

Men would now have a difficult time telling which one of the women is truly in love with him when one is a very eager and hands-on prospective wife, who will make it very easy for him to propose, and one is a coy, silent, scared-out-of-her-wits-that-he-doesn’t-love-her-back straight woman. Obviously, he’s going to think this eager woman is willing to give him all she can to make him happy, and it’s only natural she’d be a coveted prospect so it makes sense she has other demands when this coy, meek, scared woman clearly doesn’t even want to get married and doesn’t even make demands on him, which is only to suggest the sex is going to suck and the marriage will be bone dry from day one. Who could blame him for getting it wrong?

So straight women would then lose out on the ones they truly wanted and wind up marrying one of the runners-up. High-level straight women are used to lowering their bar, and high-level straight men are used to getting a woman who isn’t quite into him in the end and was mostly after his status. And so all types have a reincarnational history of romantic disappointment under their belts. The only ones who know anything about true love are the ones who broke the rules, had affairs, abandoned civilized societies, and frequented or owned brothels… But they’d link romance easily to “dark energies” and secrets.

Non-ambitious people probably got off a little easier.

Those who avoided all this would probably be people who were never on top of anyone’s list or not too ambitious about making too high-level matrimonial alliances. Regular people. The ones that are still, to this day, the ones who “just get married” like it was nothing… But to be fair, I think the romantically obsessed have a higher buzz-level to reach, so it’ll balance out in the end. 😉

Don’t flake out – just keep talking.

The moral of the story; the one you feel a deep connection with who is much like you in many ways, and perhaps in more ways than you realize, but paralyzed with fear of not being loved by you is not that difficult to get into a relationship in the end. Basically all you need to do with someone like that is to keep talking to them and not flake out of the game thinking you can’t have him/her and, as a consequence, settle to marry someone else.

Subscribe to get a Daily Message