You’d relax a lot if you knew how little other unusually sexy people judge you for your feelings

I know the headline makes very little sense at first. I’ll have to explain a bit.

Beautiful people, men, and women alike, feel continually judged for wanting to reserve their monogamous romantic love for another equally attractive person. If you can only have one, and you’re a full ten, you rightly assume that you have every chance to find ONE Full Ten who will love you back as much as you love them. It’s a reasonable expectation. So when you get constantly approached and cornered for a romantic relationship with people (far) less attractive and talented than you, you can get a little tense about it over time. When you also notice, that little hints to the direction that you’re not particularly DESPERATE for a relationship yet – as in, you’re not quite willing to lower your expectations for a person, just to get into a relationship don’t really have an impact, you can start to feel very awkward about how to approach the topic. You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but MOTHAFUCKA, right? You were just approached by someone who shouldn’t expect to get laid AT ALL, let alone assume you’d be interested in reserving your One Spot for a serious relationship to them!

People who are quite desperate for a relationship don’t care about how their parner looks – and they assume you don’t either. But for some reason, they approach you, rather than someone about the same…. quality as they are. In fact I know why… They view relationships as some kind of a first-come, first-serve -situation. If you’re single, about the right age, in the right location – what’s the problem, right?

Attractive people’s modesty gives others the impression what you are is simple luck

With all the modesty that good-looking, talented, smart, successful, and wealthy (all this in one) people convey to be nice and non-assuming to those less fortunate than them, they constantly give out the vibe that everything they have is simply GOOD LUCK. In reality, good looks take work, fitness takes work, staying well-dressed and groomed takes work, talent takes practice to perfect and utilize, business success takes work, great relationships (business and personal) take skill, time, practise, and work, and in reality, very little of anyone’s success comes down to luck alone. SURE successful people might have struck lucky, too, but that’s not all it took.

However, when everybody is trying to save another person’s ego, and to not blatantly call anyone lazy to their face, eventually, their ego gets comfortable in the knowledge that all that you are and have is down to pure luck alone. Therefore, they feel finding you single while they’re looking should be their stroke of good luck and YOU should have nothing against it – being just lucky from day one.

Full 10 people are supposed to be nice to others, right?

Now here’s the trouble. In order to qualify as a Full 10, you’re supposed to be kind and reasonably modest, too. Non-assuming, real, humble in your success. If you are NOT like that, your Full Ten score will start grumbling, or, at least, so you fear. You’re supposed to be polite, personable, friendly to all people, right? You’re also expected to give people chances because love shouldn’t be about looks, smarts, or wealth, right? This puts you in a position where you don’t know how to reject offers, especially when they are persistent and REASONABLE, even if they’re not what you actually want.

This easily puts you into a cycle of dating people and friending people who you are not that very excited about being involved with. You don’t want to be perceived the kind of a person who’d choose their friends by looks alone, as people rarely see anything BUT looks, even if you thought that in addition to someone’s good looks, they’re also wicked funny and superbly intelligent and engaging company… Unlike most of the people you know and call friends – whether you feel a real connection to them or not.

To manage constant kindness while dodging relationship bullets, entanglements, and people who take your non-promises as practical proposals is very stressful. The older you get, the less you tolerate it, and the older you get the more your looks start to bother you, and the frustration starts to kick in in full force. You’re effectively losing the looks you wanted to gift to the love of your life, someone deserving and appreciative of what you have to offer, while you keep dodging engagements from people who you truly don’t feel excited about… Trying to explain to yourself and others why that doesn’t make you a narcissistic selfish prick.

While you may not care what THEY think of you, you care what the love of your life thinks of you

You are not necessarily nice to everybody for the sake of the people you’re nice to. It’s just that you don’t want the people who you wish will love you one day think less of you if you’re speaking your mind about your situation. You don’t want to be caught snapping at someone frustratingly self-confident on a weak moment, just like in a soap opera the love of your life walks in and you spend the next six months trying to prove to them that you’re not an asshole.

However… Here’s probably something you don’t realize… If they are like you – and, they are, considering you’re looking for someone like you – they feel the same frustration as you do, for the same reasons. Now, that doesn’t mean you can go all Mean Girls on everyone you see, but you can certainly think of a REASONABLE level of push back, you know, if you’d forgive them for it, they’d probably forgive you. Add another thing to learn to your long list of skills you already possess; a snappy, humorous, poised way to put people back into their place in a pinch.

Divide and conquer

There’s also a bit of a divide and conquer -thing going on between the not so attractive and the attractive. While the attractive have to shut up about their real feelings of the situation, the not very attractive can scoop up the oppressed and suppressed sexy people into relationships with themselves. As the attractive feel all awkward and respectful of each other’s time and space, they are further divided from each other. As they understand the small differences between what everyone is looking for, they don’t push themselves onto each other, not even for friends, leaving the door open for a lot of helpful offers for friendship from the not-so-hot.

The Full 10’s should learn to stick together a little more. Learn to keep their relationships a bit more casual, and trust that attractive people are not NEARLY as prone to going head-on into new relationships and not nearly as keen on hanging onto them to dear life even when they don’t work. They should also just focus on making friends rather than lovers among each other. This is a good ground to work on for a line of defense.

Your True Emotion Mirror won’t judge you for how you feel

It is a guarantee your True Emotion Mirror doesn’t judge you for the way you feel. They may judge you how you express your feelings, however. Still, they will forgive you, and there’s a good chance you’ll find a way to express those feelings that will make your True Emotion Mirror feel amused and even loved as a side effect. When you subtly attack a person who you don’t like, your True Emotion Mirror is more than likely to feel a tinge of pleasure over it, even if they judged themselves for feeling that way.

Also, speaking your mind in a non-offensive way will be a relief to your True Emotion Mirror – at least down the line when they start to fully see how what you’re saying is better thought out than THEIR way of managing the situation.

Sidestep – Underhanded, but friendly: Assume things

In the topic of developing a poised way to turn people away from you without making yourself look like an asshole to your potentially observing True Emotion Mirror…

If someone who you’re not really into is interested in you, they must be so because they like who you are, and they think themselves like you, right? Therefore, you can assume they get to the gym three days a week. Don’t ask if they do, ASSUME they do, ask them “so how often do you work out? It would be great to have some company at the gym, you know how it is…” “I don’t really work out….” Makes an awkward gesture toward their physique. “Oh. Right. Of course. No I just mean I love it, and I’d really like my partner to be into it as much as I am. So how about theatre? Do you enjoy theatre at all? It’s not physical?” “Well, I really only watch television.” “I have a season ticket to our local theatre. Can’t get enough of it.” Pick the most “boring” interests of yours and bombard.

Stick to the truth, of course, and bring up all your impossible interests, schedules, work-life-balance problems, and make sure they understand how much you love the stuff you do. Assume they like gaming as much as you do, their nightstand has always a bit of philosophy on it, clearly, they’ve read their Russian novel classics…? And never forget to mention Finnish cello metal that you love more than the current day disco-pop that is reserved for dummies – isn’t it? Bring up all of your interests in a rapid-fire, OPPOSITE to what you normally do, as NORMALLY, you’d play down your quirky interests and what they mean to you because you don’t want to put anyone off with your weird hobbies. This way, you will also create space for their personality to come out, if they have one. 😉

Don’t hide your candle so that they wouldn’t feel overshadowed. It’s mean, but also, oddly, friendly, as long as you keep to your real hobbies and interests, you have every right to try and find a connection and mutual interests to talk about. However, ASK questions, make them carry their share of the conversation, rather than just entertain them – and I know you can and easily do. Make sure they entertain you, too.

Women can get away with a lot more weird stuff than men can, tho. Men are often much more willing to put up with weird female stuff than women are about men’s stuff. Still, if you seem more interested in your interests than a man, if they don’t share the same interests they’ll quickly lose interest in you, too. Women also know that the best strategy to keep a man’s interest is to talk about sex a lot, so to give the opposite effect is to go real smart on them and talk about intellectual topics – if he’s smart, he follows you there without a hitch, if he isn’t, he will lose interest the same as a woman whose interests are not very smart. Just paint a picture of endless days of hearing you windbag about your favorite topics without a care in the world his or her guests nodding off at the dinner table.

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