Your abusive ex-something says they’re ready to change…

OK.

Here he/she is, ready to make a change, ready to be the person you want them to be. Should you take them back?

Consider this. Are they the kind of person who thinks relationships are exciting because they get to do whatever they like with you and still be forgiven and loved? This comes from the feeling in childhood when you got to disobey your parents, and they’d still find you cute and funny or at least forgave you. These people still yearn for that kind of love.

If that’s how they feel, an intellectual, supportive, loving, joyful relationship will not be exciting enough for them, and they will feel unloved again. When they do, they’ll have to test your love by doing the “forbidden” thing as they see it. Forbidden, not hurtful, unkind, or disrespectful thing as an adult would see it, but “the forbidden thing”, like a child would see it. They will start and try to keep pushing your buttons again, just for the rush of it. And they won’t even know why they’re doing it, they’ll promise to stop, but they will want to get under your skin regardless.

Forgive ONLY if a part of you thinks this is actually funny/cute or sexy – nothing wrong if you do, but make up your own mind about that.

Also, even if you’d take one person back who treats you this way or worse, doesn’t mean you need to take back another one who isn’t really worth the drama for you.

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