When online, you’ll be served content based on what you watched last, as you know. Over time, this will wrap you up in an opinion bubble where any contradicting views are silenced from your view. While most of us, if we’re being honest, will gladly stay in a bubble that agrees with us, there are situations when you want to get out of the bubble. One of these situations is when you’ve wound up in a bubble that doesn’t truly love your authentic self, where you are seen as the enemy, or the one who has issues and needs to change. One such bubble is that of being a man in a feminist-lesbian bubble. Not a good place for a heterosexual cisgender man to be in.
I think we’ve all gotten into a search history that leads us to a rabbit hole hole we don’t really want to get into. It’s especially bad, if the rabbit hole works like a schizophrenic attack, telling you you’re wrong, your way of being is wrong, you are the problem, your sexuality is an assault in itself, and so forth. Let me tell you something.
There are people in this world who genuinely agree with you.
There’s nothing wrong in its right place, and nothing right in its own place. There is also nobody right in their wrong place, nor is anybody wrong in their right place.
Just to give you an example. Heterosexual women are women who want a man or men to fuck their brains out. That’s a heterosexual woman. Not a woman who wants a man to protect her, or to give her babies. That’s not quite there. A heterosexual woman has always been criticized, she’s possessed, she’s insane, she’s a mental case, a whore, or, at kindest: “letting men take advantage of her.”
Heterosexual men, in their turn, are in the mind of a closet lesbian, sexual predators by their very fibre. And that mindset is toxic among heterosexuals.
You need to find the bubble where you belong as your authentic self.
This is how you do it:
Erase your search history on Google and everywhere else you can think of. Block certain words if you can. (It may not work because there’s always a format you don’t think of, but you can certainly reduce the amount of stuff you have to get away from.) Then, start consciously searching for better, more balanced stuff. See if you can find some sympathy somewhere.
After you reenter YouTube, it’s like it doesn’t know you. The default suggestions are garbage, let me warn you. ;p
Here are some nice YouTube channels to start your new direction with:
Thoughty2 – An informative channel of historical events of curious nature, narrated in the adorable Thoughty2 style.
Curiosity Stream – A bit of everything for a curious mind.
Charisma On Command – A self-confidence booster, a wonderful channel in the pickup artist category that doesn’t turn my stomach, which is saying a lot.
Teal Swan – A different approach to femininity, embracing spirituality and heterosexuality in women without being overly airy-fairy. This is a bit leaning, but you might want to see it.
Heretics – Speaking of leaning, a very critical view on mostly transgendered issues that you do want to see if you’re in the transbubble. I’m sure you may know these, but if you haven’t actually “given them clickjuice” yourself, I suggest you do. See for yourself.
Comment Section – Some light-hearted spirit-liberating bitching.
Simply start filling your head with ALTERNATIVE content. ANYTHING, really.
You don’t have to sign up to any new group or replace one bubble with another, but rather look around. See new perspectives. Maybe try to challenge your own view by looking for the exact opposite view and see if you can still a) proudly hold onto your old views b) defend them c) understand the opponent emotionally, logically, and emphatically, or does hearing an opposite perspective feel angering, threatening, and unnerving? Do you feel they are “getting away with something” by not signing up to your beliefs?
The sign of your own views’ validity is your calmness in the face of an opposing argument. It shouldn’t matter a great deal what others are saying if your choice is authentically yours. You make inauthentic decisions to please the people around you.
Childfreedom
Me, I’m childfree. I’ve done my thinking – childfree people tend to consider not having children more carefully than most parents consider making new, innocent people into this world. Despite my criticism of some parents, I can feel the joy of a good parent’s child, their choice of having children, and being a parent. I am happy for them, but I don’t want it for myself.
Then at times, I feel parents are living inside a bubble, what us childfree folk call the baby rabies. Like they’re so brainwashed with the “transjoy” equivalent of BS that goes with “the joy of being a mother/father” that I feel a cringe. The reality of parenting is often far from what people’s Kodak moments would suggest. The same thing as watching transwomen in perfect makeup and lighting on Instagram, praising the lord for allowing them to transition or whatever… and others getting sucked into it. It’s the same thing, different narrative.
When the “becoming a parent” becomes reality, some people expecting the heavenly joy to kick in automatically, seem angry at childfree people because they are getting away with life without becoming parents, a life without sacrifice… That, coming from the same people who thought “motherhood is the greatest blessing.”
The bubble
That said, I felt a strong bubble forming in the childfree community, too. The wrath, the hate toward people who want to have children… Like some of the childfree folk had to keep reaffirming their very logically sound decision not to have a child. When their choice was based on virtue and philosophy rather than an authentic disinterest in having a child. While to some of us, the childfree community offered support to an existing choice in facing criticism against it, to some, the criticism seemed to come from within the childfree community. “If you have a child, you are a bad person, you pollute the Earth with your offspring that pollutes the Earth,” and that sort of narrative. In the opposite view, you’re a selfish person who doesn’t think of anybody except oneself… From people who think “parenthood is a joy?!” It wasn’t healthy. I had to stop filling my head with that rubbish. It didn’t change the fact that I don’t want to be a mother, but it made me far less angry.
I still hold a lot of the beliefs that the childfree community stands for, but I don’t need their support for my views anymore. Also, if the only thing you have in common with people is not having children, you still wind up talking about parenting and children, and ugh. Even though I haven’t googled “childfree” in over a decade, I’m pretty sure, nothing about my authentic feelings toward my choice of not becoming a parent hasn’t changed. The difference is I can feel happy and delighted seeing a child being silly at a supermarket, rather than rolling my eyes and scoffing.
If you’re going to get into a bubble, make a good choice of it.
Support is lovely. It’s nice to have a community. But if you’re going to get into another bubble, be careful so it consists of YOUR AUTHENTIC FRIENDS.
K?
